relationships

How to Stop the Drama in Your Life

How to Stop the Drama in Your Life

If you’re like me, at some point in your life you might have thought to yourself (or said to a trusted friend), ‘I’m tired of all the drama.’

Maybe, like me, you thought this because you were tired of fighting, tired of feeling like two ships passing in the night or tired of the exhaustion caused by a relationship you were or aren’t even sure you want any more.

Perhaps it’s drama with a lover, friend, boss or even colleague. Or, perhaps it’s drama with someone or something else entirely.

Regardless, if you’re tired of the drama, you’ve made it to the right place…

How to Break Free From the Same Old Stories

How to Break Free From the Same Old Stories

If you’ve been following along, this month on The Stress Less Show, we’ve been exploring our basic needs, using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as our guide. We started by addressing our physiological needs. Then, onto our safety needs. Then, came our love and belonging needs…

So, what’s next? Well, I’m glad you asked! The answer is self-esteem…

How to Feel Safe and Loved in Your Relationships

How to Feel Safe and Loved in Your Relationships

How loved do you feel in your relationships? And I’m not just talking about your romantic ones. Cultivating a sense of love and belonging in our lives with the people we spend time with is a basic need. Humans are social creatures after all! This week, holistic psychotherapist, Laura Brown and I are diving deep into what it means to really build relationships that are healthy and open so that we can feel loved and secure with the people we care about.

What Patterns Are Showing Up In Your Love Life?

What Patterns Are Showing Up In Your Love Life?

Do you ever find yourself stuck in relationship deja vu? Time and time again finding yourself dating the same kind of people or having the same arguments and problems cropping up in your love life? I think most of us can or have related to that before! Creating a strong and healthy relationship is not easy work, as we’ve been talking about a lot this month. However, what we don’t often realize is that sometimes the best place to start that work lies deep within ourselves and our past. Love and relationship coach Jimmy Allen sat down with me to share his incredibly valuable story and experience in healing the roadblocks to love in his life and how to use our past experience as a starting point towards real growth and happiness in our relationships…

How to Manage a Financially Draining Divorce

How to Manage a Financially Draining Divorce

Ending a relationship in itself is difficult enough, but navigating a divorce, figuring out your finances, going through legal battles… it can get messy, scary, and downright exhausting fast! Dealing with a financially draining divorce is tough and I sat down this week with Catherine Shanahan and Karen Chellew of My Divorce Solution so they can give us some simple tips to approach a financially draining divorce from a place of strength and clarity, and start setting ourselves up for financial success…

How to Create Healthier Relationships

How to Create Healthier Relationships

Do you know what you need in your relationship? Are you getting it? Can you talk about it? Relationships can be beautiful things, but building strong, open, and supportive relationships takes some work! I sat down with Licensed Psychotherapist, Kira Yakubov to talk all things relationships so you can learn how to create healthy ones and how to maintain them through all the highs and the lows life throws at you…

How to Reconnect After The Kids Leave

How to Reconnect After The Kids Leave

After years of raising kids together, your relationship with your partner can go through ups, downs, and then some! But what about when the kids are all grown up and off to start their own lives as adults? Adjusting to life without the kids around can be a big challenge for a relationship. It can be downright scary even! But with a little patience and curiosity, it can also be an exciting time to reconnect with the person we fell in love with. I sat down with Life Coach, author, and host of In The Nest, Jodi Silverman, to discuss how we can rekindle our relationship with our partner and ourselves once the kids have left…

How to Stick Together When You’re Apart

How to Stick Together When You’re Apart

Relationships take work no matter what, but even in today’s well-connected world, long-distance relationships can take work and then some. Maintaining that sense of togetherness and love when a partner is away can be stressful at times and there are unique challenges that come with it. That is why I thought I’d sit down with psychologist and relationship coach, Kristina Reihl, to get her top tips on how to maintain a successful “together apart” relationship…

How to Escape the Expectations of Others and Focus On You

How to Escape the Expectations of Others and Focus On You

How many of us out there have ever felt trapped by other people's expectations of us? Whether it's our family members, our partners, our friends or even our coworkers, we can face a lot of pressure from others when it comes to the decisions we make for ourselves. As much as we would love to be able to please everyone, the reality is that what we want and what we expect of ourselves is far more important than the expectations that anyone else has for us. We can't please everyone and when we try to, we only end up letting ourselves down. This week, I'm so happy to have confidence coach, speaker, and our Self(ish) Philly MC, Danielle Mercurio, on the show to share her story and her tips for finally putting yourself first ahead of everyone else's expectations of you…

#APOPFNF Profile: Carlee Myers

11705511_10205035783474132_7889396891867321989_oName: Carlee Myers Age: 22

Subject: Weight Loss & Mental Health

Advice: Feeling down? Hit the Gym! Not only do you get to work off your frustrations, but you leave feeling like a rock star--because you really have accomplished something!

Carlee's Story: A little over one year ago my long time boyfriend and I decided it was finally time to break up. Although I knew it was for the best, I was devastated. I had been dating this man for seven years--he had been by my side all through high school and college for crying out loud. We were a force to be reckoned with; we were soulmates or at least that's what I had I thought.

1238332_10202067390866172_2407868721203420225_nIt was a beautiful night in May of 2014. I went out with some friends and visited an art collector's home. After a few drinks, we somehow got on the subject of relationships. We talked about happiness and love--about how two people who barely knew each other are often happier together than those who have been together for years. The conversation hit home--I was walking home pondering what my life would be like if I left my partner. Over the last two years of our seven year relationship, I had contemplated this too often. It was clear I was unhappy and he wasn't too happy either. I had decided that unless he did something to change my mind that evening I was going to start the conversation--we were going to have a heated debate about breaking up.

When I got home everything was just as I expected it to be--my unemployed ex hadn't bothered to do the dishes and the apartment was a wreck. He had all the time in the world to accomplish these simple tasks, yet when I got home he was laying in bed watching a movie. I walked into the room and didn't get so much as a "hey." In that moment, I threatened to break up with him. I told him that if he wasn't going to change then I was going to leave him. I told him that our lease was going to be up in a month and I was going to leave him if he didn't change. I was angry;  his response was cool, calm and collected. He agreed to my terms, but not the way I thought he would. His response: "Why wait? It's over." And just that quickly--we were through. The couple who had identified as "Marshmallow ad Lily-pad" from HIMYM ceased to exist.

10320560_10202173246632500_6048244094296888071_n

That very same day I dropped my cellphone down a storm drain. What are the odds? I was cut off from the world--cut off from my friends and family. I had no one to talk to unless I wanted to go to a nearby cafe to use their WiFi for Facebook messaging--I thought, "screw that!" I went on a walk. I reevaluated who I was. I thought about where I was in life and where I needed to go. In two weeks I would be graduating with my bachelors degree in Curatorial Studies and Fine Art; In two months I would be moving to Baltimore to earn my post-bac certificate at the Maryland Institute College of Art. Over the last year, I had gained over 20 pounds--the side effects of a stressful senior year and a failing relationship. I was in the worst shape of my life--my emotions and body were a wreck. Most fitness journeys have an "Oh Shit" moment and well this is mine--a stupid-ass break up.

8996cb691711fc2efb49d4e2b4a61410To my ex, that is if you're reading this, THANK YOU! If it weren't for you, I would not be where I am today. Not only did you support me all through high school and college, you were my biggest fan. Thank you for knowing when to agree with me and for having the guts to end "us" and encourage me to move on with my life. If you had not made the decision you made that beautiful May night, I would have never started this health & fitness blog; I would have never lost those 25 pounds, I would have never stayed in Philly; I would have never met some of my closest friends--Julia, Kim, you know who you are people. :P Simply put if you had never said "It's over" I would be someone totally different. To my ex if you are reading this...THANK YOU.

11233783_10204641360413802_2033702878895185568_nThis very break up is what prompted me to begin once again hitting the pavement. In the past, I ran cross country and track, so I was oh too familiar with the training that was necessary to achieve the new goals I had set for myself. Ultimately, I wanted lose 20 pounds, get my 3 mile time back down to the mid 20s and stop being so angry with myself and what life had thrown at me. I went on runs around the city (Philadelphia) and began tracking my calorie intake through MyFitnessPal.

After one too many runs, I finally realized the whole reason I was put in this situation was because I needed to be uncomfortable. I needed to feel this dull pain of loneliness and anger because I needed the proper motivation to become a healthy and successful artist and arts professional. To be successful, I was going to have to work for it, damn it!

11008550_10204639401444829_4292343067709397279_nBelieve me; I sure as hell worked for it. In the fall of 2014, I hit my goal weight of 135lb AND had successfully found a job as a development assistant at a local art & design college. The job wasn't much, but it was a start. I was fending for myself in the "real world" and I was proud--still am. Come winter, I was running 3 miles in 21 minutes and 46 seconds--a time that blew away my high school personal record of  25:59. Today, I'm in the best shape of my life--eating healthy, doing cardio, lifting weights, and of course continually working on making my mindset a more positive one. And although times still get tough every now and again, I try to remember not to worry. I managed to make it through my past and I've come out stronger. Nothing can break me.


Do you have an inspiring health or fitness story? Comment below or share on social media using the hashtag #APOPFNF (APOP Fitness Nerd Family) with a reason you should be featured in our next #APOPFNF profile! I will be adding a new profile every other Sunday so get your entries in now :)

Quotes that Caught my Attention

Yesterday I was able to have some "me time" while I was catching up on some laundry so naturally I read the Tao Te Ching. What? I enjoy stuff like that! 😜 Anyway, I hope these pages ans the words in them help you as much as they've helped me. ☺

image

image

image