The Power of Pausing

I had a very constructive day today where I was able to get a lot of business and personal work done. At some point I had a moment where I needed to sit and pause, so I got out my art as a way for me to pause and process.  As I was beginning to get into it I saw that Monica Shah was going live on Facebook. I found this funny because I had just implemented an exercise from Monica’s book titled ‘Pause’. I often do exercises from the book every time I am feeling stuck so I felt inspired to share a little bit around the concept of pausing.

How many of us are just going and going without taking a pause? How often do you bounce from tasks in the name of getting things done? How many moments are we taking in our lives to just ‘be’, re-connect and re-charge ourselves? The idea behind taking a pause is to create a life that is more abundant for you, create opportunities to make more money and/or create the opportunity to find the relationship that you want. In the pause space you can do what you want – whether it’s creating art, sitting in the garden or reading something inspirational. Pausing is not a once off occasion, it is a regular practice to re-nourish and rejuvenate you.

‘One moment can change a day, one day can change a life, one life can change the world’ -Buddha. Finding regular moments of pausing can lift noise from your mind and situations, giving one clearer perspective as well as the power to change what one can. If you are looking for more direct, one on one support and you’re not sure where to go in your work, home, or relationship situations it’s definitely time for us to connect. You can connect with me HERE.

PS: I would highly recommend Monica Shah’s Book ‘Pause – 52 questions that lead to more money and time’.

Stop Compartmentalizing your Authentic Self & Live Your Best Life!

I spoke to two of my clients today – back to back, and the same exact thing came up for both of them. I found this fascinating as it shows that we all go through things that are very similar. What my clients have been experiencing is the feeling of having two different versions of themselves inside. Often times we have the version that is scared, afraid and lacking in confidence and we have the version who is open, expansive, confident, in love with themselves and knows who they are.

We’re constantly looking for approval but we tend to go to the wrong people for this. Instead of going to the confident, authentic and open person we go looking for approval from the person that is hiding and afraid. It’s interesting that we go to this place of feeling ‘not enough’ to look for approval and end up chasing other people for it when all we really want is approval from ourselves. We don’t actually care if our dad doesn’t like us or if our boss thinks we did a good job. What we actually care about is how we feel about ourselves – waking up each morning feeling like we are actually living authentically.

A lot of us have these different versions of ourselves hiding within us and it seems more often than not that the vulnerable, afraid version tends to be the one that we live in the most. This version is the ‘lack’ and ‘fear’ that we let drive our lives. Then we’ve got this other version which is actually us, the version that is in our heart. This version is our confident, authentic self. The fear will likely always be there, but our confident, authentic self can always shine through and take the lead. The authentic version of me is the Carlee who works in the studio, loves to dance, loves to create and is present in each and every moment. At times the other fear version of me comes up to tell me to ‘Watch out! You can’t be too authentic, what about money?!, what about that fat on your stomach, what about that tragedy that might happen?’. This fear voice is often really a mirage and it takes our authentic self to be present to realize this.

We always say what we want to be: more of this and more of that, but technically we already are all of that inside of us! The problem is that we let fear override this because we get too comfortable in this version and forget about what’s truly inside our hearts. With the two clients I spoke with earlier, they have separated and boxed their authentic/confident self from their fear/lack version of themselves. So in their authentic/confident box is where all their passions and creative talents lie. This box tends to be shoved to the side, while the fear/lack box wreaks havoc. We’ve compartmentalized our authentic self and buried it so that it’s so separate from all areas of our lives resulting in us not truly knowing who we are.

With my clients, they feel that they have these two different personalities that are so separate but need to be merged to create this new self. In order to do this, getting in touch with one’s true desires and passions and using these as a compass is a good start. Listening to what you really want whether it’s to travel, dance, lose weight, create a garden, etc. is a guideline to what’s already in you. It’s all already there, it’s just the fear/lack version holding you back.

Where in your life have you compartmentalized your authentic self and where can you integrate it into all other parts of your life? How can you be more authentic and let the person inside you that you’ve suppressed, come out and show you the life that you want to live?

If you resonate with the experience of feeling like you have compartmentalized your authentic self, I'd love to hear from you. 

I Forgive myself/you for not being perfect

I meditate every morning for 30 minutes to let my mind poop – letting shit-thoughts (you heard me right) be released. What came up for me this morning in my meditation is a word that is commonly heard in the world of self-help and personal development. The word is 'forgiveness.' Often times, the idea we associate with forgiveness is the idea that we are doing someone else a favor. 'I'm forgive you so we can move on'. The word ‘Forgive’ is about giving someone the gift of forgiving...or is it? 

The word 'forgive' can be broken down into two parts:

• ‘FOR’ – the idea of forgoing – you’re forgoing the problems, anxiety & worry. You’re forgoing and...
• ‘GIVING’ - the idea that you are giving yourself the opportunity to have peace of mind. You’re opening up doors to have a happy, calm mind and the gift of peace.

So in essence, perhaps we've had it wrong this whole time. Perhaps forgiving is not really about the other person. Perhaps it's that you’re FORgoing and GIVING yourself the gift of a beautiful state of mind.

To be clear, it’s not about letting the other person walk all over you and saying ‘I am going to forgive you for being a jerk.’ It’s about not letting the outside world ruin your happiness. The truth is that we cannot control the outside world (i.e. the jerk) but we can control whether we let the outside world influence our beautiful state of mind. With forgiveness, you forgo the worry and choose to forgive by letting go.

A lot of us like to hold onto the worry, pain or the grudge because it gives us some satisfaction. There is this idea that we need to hold onto negative energy to remind ourselves not to put ourselves in that situation again. You can still let go of the worry and anxiety and still trust that when jerks, worry or anxiety show up in the future you’ll be able to stand your ground and not put up with crap.

Forgiving is never about the other person, it’s about you. As much as we need to forgive other people, we need to constantly forgive ourselves on the daily. Forgive yourself for making that poor financial decision or forgive yourself for not loving yourself. I have had several clients who have expressed anger towards themselves because they don’t love themselves – they are mad that they’re mad or sad that they're sad (it's a weird a vicious cycle). Giving yourself the gift of forgiving yourself and saying that ‘I am 100% enough’ is the best gift that you can receive. Acknowledging that your past has served you and seeing it as a victory or a learning experience, gives you the freedom to live from your heart and love yourself more. 

Not sure where to go next? Let's chat.

Self-care vs Self-sabotage

I woke up this morning and experienced a dialogue with myself around whether I should get up and go for a run or sleep in. I recently injured my right wrist so I started making excuses that my arm will get hot and uncomfortable and why not just sleep in and rest, right?  Wrong!

In this moment I began to reflect on the theme of self-care versus self-sabotage. I came to realize that knowing the difference between self-care and self-sabotage is really important. Had I not gone on my run I would have missed out on the beautiful scenery – the water, nature and an art installation. I also would not have released endorphins that ultimately will uplift my mood for the day. I would have been lying in bed getting a half hour extra sleep and waking up feeling flat. Even though my right arm is injured, both my legs still work and my left arm is in its full capacity. So, no excuses. Really!

I want to ask you, are there places in your life where you are sabotaging yourself? Self-care can be hard sometimes. It’s the difference between hitting snooze and getting out of bed... it’s the difference between choosing a salad and choosing something else. So my question is, are you self-sabotaging because you ‘deserve it’? Are you disguising self-sabotage as self-care? This morning I got real with myself and decided no more excuses – It was time to get up and  go on a run. What do you need to wake up to, to take better care and nourish yourself?

How to release yourself from fear & anxiety

Many of us experience fear and anxiety around not being where we’d thought we’d be by now. Usually we fear stepping into our future – whether it’s a new job, taking steps to become the person that you want be, beginning/ending relationships or something else. The essence of the Fear and anxiety is around what is coming, i.e. your future. What are the things that you’re a little nervous or anxious about?

There is something really important when it comes to releasing fear and anxiety in our lives. I have a quote on my wall that says: ‘When you feel that anxiety, that means that you’re hitting your fear barrier and to grow you must plow through it’. If you are feeling that sense of fear, the first thing you need to do is get into action. If you are feeling anxiety, it means you’re not in action. For example if you feel fear around being stuck in a particular job forever, you need to do something in this moment to move yourself towards that next goal. In some of my talks, specifically a talk that I did at LA Fitness in Philadelphia, I offer a Left page/right page exercise. On the left page, you write what you want to step into and on the right side you put your excuse, your ‘Yeah, but…’.

For example: 

I want to be a physicist, or a lawyer

I want to start a family

I want to start exercising

I want to start my own business

I want to <fill in the blank>.

...I want to start a family, yeah but I can’t do X, Y, Z if I start one.

I want to travel, yeah but I don’t have enough time.

The whole left page of what we want to do are our action steps - it can be a stream of consciousness of a variety of things. These things may even be ‘weird’. One of mine was that I really wanted to dance in the park. I didn’t know why but I really wanted to. I put on the other side, ‘Yeah but people would think that I am weird’. Everything on the ‘Yeah but...’ page is the very reason we should do it. I really want to start a business, yeah but what about my children? Ironically, your children are the very reason that you should start your business (you don't want your children to feel like they can't leave out their dreams do you?). These excuses are exactly why you should be stepping into your highest calling.

The goal is to let go of the excuses and move forward. When we take action, all of that fear and anxiety is loosened and eventually released. The release is usually instantaneous even when you make a small gesture towards stepping into what you really want. Take that step, show up and you will free yourself from the cycle of fear and anxiety.

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When you take a Leap of Faith and you feel the universe doesn’t have your back

When you take a huge leap of faith and BAM you feel that the universe doesn’t have your back and you are facing challenges constantly, know that this is part of the process. It’s the ironic way the universe works sometimes. You might put all your time and energy into taking that first leap, you still need to take the 2nd and 3rd step, and TA-DA life throws you some curve balls.

When we take the first leap of faith in getting our lives together and adulting like a boss, whether it be joining a program, eating healthy or joining the gym, it often times feels like we get hit with shot after shot. The universe throws you extra expenses or your hours get cut at work or you get surprised by a health issue. A lot of us end up going right back to our comfort zone thinking that the universe is trying to tell us that we shouldn’t be taking that leap or listening to our hearts. But actually the universe is trying to challenge us in order to make us as strong as possible so that we can step into our goals and into the person that we want to become. So, it’s not actually about the first step. You might think you need to lose weight and eat better thus you go buy all sorts of healthy foods or throw away all the unhealthy food in your cupboard. This is you letting the universe know you are hungry (HA, get the pun?!). You're letting the universe know that you are ready to take the leap and transform. But at the end of the day, it's not just the food you need to work on...you need to deal with those unhealthy emotional eating habits; you need to address with your relationship with food. So what happens? The universe throws you a break-up so you have the opportunity to rise to the occasion and resist letting your emotions pick up another cookie for you. When we think the steps are a certain way, the universe shows us differently in order to strengthen the muscles that need work so that we have the motivation to become our highest self.

I have clients that are creatives and want to make their world more financially abundant. They sign up for the program and they lose a job or hours are cut. There are two things here. First thing, the universe is trying to up the motivation to get their artistic career off the ground and two, it's making sure that they have time to spend on their goals, dreams and aspirations. So instead of cornering ourselves into a place of fear and backing off, see that the universe is helping to create more time and motivation to get you where we you want to go.

I started going to yoga regularly and then I had a fall on my bike, leaving my left hand injured. I have all these goals for my life outside of yoga – business, relationships, health, self-care and more. The universe was like, ‘Hey I think it's time to focus on other things. You say you want to get your business off the ground, it’s okay to shift your focus and put a little more time on that’. It’s all about our focus and consistently shifting focus to create balance.

So you take a leap of faith and you lose the job or you go through an injury or a break up. Know that this is the universe making you stronger and making sure that you are ready to become the person that you’re destined to be. The universe is testing you to see if this is just another maybe or kinda: I kinda wanna quit this job or I kinda wanna be a yogi. The universe throws things at you so that you have the determination to rise, no matter what is coming your way. If we don’t do the heavy lifting of what the universe is throwing at as, we won’t become stronger. If you feel like you just took a leap and it didn’t work out or you feel that you want to take a leap and are scared, just know that there will likely be trials and tribulations but taking the leap can help you become the person that you want to be.

And know that I've got your back.

Let's continue the conversation.

Schedule a free adult like a pro strategy session with me today.

What to do when your loved ones don’t support your dreams

Your family and friends might support and love you but they might not feel like you’re making the best decisions for yourself. You’ve possibly been labelled as risky and irresponsible. They might say don’t start a business or you might lose all your money and end up homeless. Ultimately, they’re trying to protect you. It can be as big as starting a business to starting a new diet or taking a dance class. The answer I can give you to handling stresses of family or loved ones not supporting your decisions, is taking a step back and asking ‘Why aren’t they supporting this? Look at it from their perspective. You could be triggering something in them. Maybe they experienced financial hardship when they started their own business and they don’t want you to go through the same thing that they went through. Sometimes family might be straight up unsupportive because your success in threatening. Ask yourself if you need to share your goals and aspirations with this person or people or can you just do them. Do you really need their approval to step into your highest calling? In all cases you don’t actually need their approval.

I had a family member who didn’t approve of my business when I first started. They thought it was a crazy, irresponsible idea. For a long time I would speak about what I would do when I would make enough money in my business, who I would influence and what would I do when I was rich! It took my family a long time to come around but as I stepped into my highest calling and built my business, they started to say, ‘Hey, when you’re rich you owe me money’ instead of the dreaded 'if you're rich.' That was their way of trying to say that they finally believe in me. I had to stand up for my dreams and goals for a long time before I received my family’s support. Here’s the key – stand up for yourself! Not necessarily in a confrontational way but in a way of taking a stand  and taking ownership for what your heart is calling you to do.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are people who don’t want you to succeed. I had a partner who did not support my business and who thought I was being too masculine and too much of a go-getter. I had to realize that my dreams and goals were bigger than this relationship. I am not saying that you have to let go of a relationship – if you’re supposed to be together, it will work and your partner will come around. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone or allow it to become a whole big drama. You don’t need to ask for permission to start that dance class or step into your bigger calling. A lot of us make a mistake by asking for permission when we don’t actually need permission. If you need permission, I am giving you permission to give yourself permission.

One of the top 5 regrets of people who are on their death bed is regret for the things that they never did and the dreams that they never pursued. The people who don’t approve will come into alignment in their own time...It's all in divine timing. In the meantime I'd say it's time to step and lean into what you really want and start living your best life!

The Myth that Self-care will leave us alone and unhappy

I’ve noticed a common fear with many of my clients and a lot of people out there. Many people fear that if they take care of themselves AKA fuel their creative soul, they’re going to end up alone and isolated. They fear that if they get into their artistic flow, which can be better than sex believe it or not, they’ll become so blissed out and even forget about time and other responsibilities. This crosses the board beyond being creative or artistic. This fear holds an underlying belief that taking time for ourselves or doing something small for ourselves will somehow leave us unhappy and alone. We assume that we’ll be neglecting the people that we care most about and that people will get mad at us.

Personally I can relate. There’s a weird myth that once you go into self-care mode, you’ll never get yourself out. I see the whole picture as a bubble bath analogy. You’ll never take a bubble bath and say, ‘I am going to take a bubble bath tonight but I am terrified that I’ll be alone and my friends and family will stop loving me and I’ll be really unhappy. I’ll forget that there’s an outside world’. You wouldn’t say this about a bubble bath right? But this is literally the thought process that for some reason comes up when we talk about self-care. If you want to spend the day cleaning space, getting nails done, getting into studio etc., you’re not going to forget that there is an outside world. You might miss a meal because you’re in flow and excited, but you’re not going to forget about the other parts of your life. If you’re an artist, creative or just a person trying to find some time for yourself and you feel like you’re going to be alone and unhappy because you do this, I challenge you to connect with the bubble bath analogy. You’re not going to sit in the bubble bath and forget about the people you love or the relationships that you have to build and nurture. You’re going to be in the bath and enjoy it for between 15 – 30 minutes. If you go beyond that time you’ll start to see the crinkles in your fingers and most likely decide that it’s a good time to get out, dry off and get back to your life. You’ll even feel rejuvenated after your bath!

When I was in Florida 2 weeks ago, I took 2 extra days to chill and do nothing. Literally after 1.5 days of enjoying this, I wanted to get back to work and re-engage with my clients and the world. There’s a point where we need to recharge our batteries and trust that we’ll get the urge and remember to do what we need to do to balance ourselves out. I want to debunk the fable that if we go on vacation we’ll never want to come back or if you are in studio you’re going to come out 3 days later like a gremlin. You’ll eventually get that feeling that you get when your fingers crinkle in the bubble bath – you’ll want to get back to your life and you’ll get back to it feeling more energized, productive and balanced. So go and take that bubble bath or your version of it. I urge you. Go!

'I am a Money Magnet' Challenge

My business coach is great at changing peoples’ money mind set, getting them to the next level in their business and guiding them to a place of saying no to things, and yes to things, in order to make business effective and lucrative. One of the things that eventually rubbed off on me from my business coach is having ‘Gratitude’ towards money. Instead of seeing money as this evil or filthy thing, I have chosen to see money with an attitude of gratitude.

I started this thing where whenever I see a penny on the street, I would get really excited. Old Carlee would just see a penny and keep walking. New Carlee now stops, picks up the penny, proclaims that, ‘I am a money Magnet’, does a little dance and pops it in her pocket. My friends do think I am a bit weird when I do this but it’s gotten to the point that every time I find some money on the ground, I start attracting more money in my business. And although my friends have given me funny looks when I do my money dance in public, they too have begun to notice when they find money in ‘random’ places. I literally received a message from my sister about an hour ago saying ‘I am a Money Magnet’.

The gesture of showing gratitude towards even the smallest penny, is showing the universe that I like and appreciate money. The universe sees that I like to get money so that I can also give it. We often show gratitude for the big things in our lives, yet we forget about the so called smaller things as small as a penny. The more we show gratitude, the more we open up to receiving more. In my Message from the Dime in the Asphalt blog post, I spoke about how not every dime is meant for us, so there is no point in digging for dimes stuck in the asphalt. In order to not get stuck in trying to pick up all the dimes, you need to recognize when to pursue money and when not to. Gratitude can still be applied here by thanking the Universe for showing you when to pursue and when not to pursue money.

So my challenge for you this week is for you to experiment with the way that you look at money. Check in with yourself what the emotional reaction is whenever you find money whether it be dime, penny or $100. Whatever the reaction, address it with gratitude. Override any negative feelings, do a little dance and acknowledge that ‘I am a money magnet’. Find a way to show gratitude that is authentic for you and gets you excited and grateful. The results will be pleasantly surprising!

Missed my last Feeling Salty workshop, no stress – join the next one HERE!

Soak or Scrub: How do you Handle your Problems?

In a rush to get to Maryland from Philadelphia, I ended up leaving my baked bean residue infused pan to soak. I was in a rush, so I thought that at least let me soak the pot because of course it needs to soak before it gets washed and I don’t have time to wait for it to finishing soaking - Right? Well, this was the excuse that I told myself. The result of ‘letting it soak’ was that when I returned 3 days later the stink in my apartment was overwhelming!

I found this experience a superb analogy of how we sometimes deal with our problems. You might be having relationship issues, so you go on a 3 day vacation away from your partner only to come back to a stinky apartment – the problem started off as baked bean residue but now it’s full on seeping through the air and you’re stuck with a mouldy dish. Letting it soak is sometimes a band- aid solution to a deeper wound. Ironically, when you walk back into the stink, you ask yourself ‘Why didn’t I deal with this problem earlier? Why didn’t I just wash the pot?’ In my case, I have a dishwasher – I could have just rinsed the pot and put it in! I literally had the perfect tool to wash my pot but I didn’t use it.

Different problems demand different solutions – some need a little soak and some need to be scrubbed hard, NOW! The trick is to be honest with yourself with which approach is needed on a moment to moment basis. If you are always letting your problems soak – you’re going to be left with a huge mess eventually. Same goes for if you scrub too much – you might break a few dishes or end up with raw hands. It’s totally up to you what you choose and sometimes you need the stink to smell the extremity of the problem. Soak or Scrub – it’s up to you.

A Message from the Dime in the Asphalt

Being on a money mind set journey, every time I see a coin I pick it up and express extreme gratitude with the affirmation ‘I am a Money Magnet’ accompanied by a little money dance. I find money on the ground and in various other places all the time – it’s amazing how much this happens. It’s like the more I notice money in all forms, and express gratitude towards it, the more my income or change wallet literally grows. 

So the other day I was biking to work and less than 5 minutes into my ride I noticed a dime lying on the side walk.  I stop, realize it's completely stuck in the asphalt and simply I get back on my bike on my way to work thinking, 'welp, guess that one's not meant for me.'

Later on that very same ride I spot another dime. I'm thinking, 'crazy! Two dimes in one day. Whatttt!' I stop, pick it up, sing my 'I'm a money magnet' song and do a little dance as per the usual routine.

But then something dawned on me, if I had stopped and become preoccupied with the first dime, I would've never found the second one--the one that was truly meant for me. This stuck dime was showing me that a lot of us go about our lives banging our heads on the same wall over and over again not realizing there is a door open a few feet away.

Many of us continually try to pick up our own absolutely stuck and stubborn dimes meanwhile getting our fingers dirty and breaking our nails. Why is that that we don't take a closer look and realize that this dime is nothing but trouble? Why is it that we think if we hop back on our bikes we won't find the dime that was meant for us?

So here's my real question to you: What are you finding yourself breaking your nails over – is it a relationship, is it money, friends, work? The dime in the asphalt could represent anything in your life.

As a business owner, there are potential clients that I want to hold onto – I see their potential and future and want them to step into it but sometimes they are the dime stuck in the asphalt, not ready to change. A hot summer day might come along and move them out of the asphalt and they’ll be able to change their life. Here, it’s a matter of knowing when it’s time to move on and go after something else--move on to the person who is truly ready to transform their life.

In the long run this behavior perpetuates an exhausting, unhelpful cycle--you find yourself stuck swatting on the side of the road next to this annoying dime with filthy hands and broken nails. Don't get yourself stuck when in reality you aren't--it's that thing outside of you that is...

How to make the Grind Bearable

If you have a 9 – 5 job and you feel unhappy or even miserable at work, there are two things that you can do to either re-engage yourself or move yourself in the right direction.

I know a lot of us have this dread when we’re at work – before we get there, when we leave, during the after lunch drag and so on. We've gotten so good at seeing the negative that we don't even know we can choose to set our mind to another setting...this other optional mind-set that is hugely overlooked when it comes to work. I am sure you know that in every part of our life it’s mind over matter. Most of us chose the job that we’re in. We applied, we got excited and then we got a bit disillusioned, unhappy, burned out or even disappointed. If you commit to applying this other mind-set, you can shift how you think about where you are at in order to help you get to where you want to be. You can literally re-engage yourself back into a place of excitement. Here are two easy ways to help you get there:

1.       Re-frame what you’re struggling with

If you’re behind a computer and not feeling like working on another spreadsheet or sending another email, change your thoughts about what you’re doing. Why not allow yourself to be excited that you have this opportunity to streamline a process and realize that if you get it done, you won’t have to do this exact task again. If you work in sales for example and you’re serving the 100th customer or so, re-frame you’re thinking to acknowledge that this is the 100th person that you’ve connected with and helped. This connection could also be a networking opportunity, if you want to get out of there (the dang job that is), to see where that connection might lead you.

If your alarm goes off and you don’t want to get up because you had a late night watching Netflix or you were working on your own stuff, re-frame and gear yourself towards being enthusiastic about your work and your ability to have an impact in this position. So instead of always thinking about how stuck you are, even if you are, start to shift your thinking towards excitement and see how you can use where you’re at as a stepping stone to get to where you want to be.

I find using an anchor thought to be really helpful. If I am really anxious about a meeting or working with a specific person, I prepare an anchor thought ahead of time. An anchor thought is an unchanging thought that can root you and guide you in the direction to what you want. For example – if I have a meeting, I imagine that the meeting went really well and my anchor thought would be: “After the meeting we got up, shook hands and were glad that we connected and had this conversation”. Going into the meeting with that anchor thought shifts the energy that you bring to the meeting. If you are vibrating negative energy and consumed by negative thoughts, the next person will sense that. So re-framing how you approach a meeting or task will get you feeling more motivated but it’s also going to help you have much more meaningful connections with the people that you work with.

2.       Implement the 5 second rule

The 5 Second Rule is a book by Mel Robbins. If you are battling to re-frame your thoughts, try the 5 Second Rule. So you find yourself thinking negative thoughts while you’re at work on that spreadsheet and you start feeling like you hate your job but you have to do it to get that promotion or make money blah blah blah... try the 5 second rule. You count down 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 and SWITCH. If you’re scrolling on Facebook or entranced with gazing into your spreadsheet, you literally switch to something else by physically moving to another task. This gesture launches you into positive action, whether that is a physical task or a shift that can move you into the positive anchor thought you prepared earlier.

I wanted to share these tips as I know a lot of you out there are struggling with finding fulfillment in the day job. If you really apply the two principles above, you can shift your world and transform your situation into a stepping stone towards where you actually want to be.

Need some more guidance? Check out when the next Feeling Salty workshop is to discover how you can re-create your future and make adulting fun. The process includes stream of consciousness writing and a movement meditation (that hasn’t been taught by anyone else).

Spirituality: You're doing it wrong

One aspect of our lives that we tend to talk less about and suppress, is spirituality. There have always been strict frameworks that dictate what being spiritual versus not being spiritual means. In actuality, there is not one way to connect or reconnect to God, the Universe or whatever it is that you believe in. Prayer seems to be one of the most common ways to connect spiritually but it's not the only way, neither is going to church the only way to connect.

Because many of us are lead to believe that there is only one or two ways to reconnect, this week I want to share some different ways to connect that I continually use when it comes to my own spirituality and spiritual practice with the hopes of helping you reconnect if the other stuff isn't doing the job.

1.       TALKING

Talking is a form of prayer where we use our voice internally or externally to connect. So we might say things out loud or silently as if we are conversing with God or a higher power.  Talking could be talking through our spiritual experiences with yourself or someone outside yourself--friends, family, a spiritual guide, God, the Universe, etc. Connecting spiritually through talking and prayer is a very mainstream spiritual practice in our society. It has proven to be effective for many but not everybody can connect deeply in this way, based on their preferences, personality types and learning styles. Not all of us are able to talk or connect and learn through this way.

2.       LISTENING / MEDITATION

The notion that meditation is a way to connect spiritually is often missed.  Meditation is about silence and listening. Prayer is about output – talking out loud or asking God in your mind how to fix this, or make this better or get this or that. We’re so busy asking the creator these questions but do we give time to be silent and wait for the answer? Do we listen for the answer? We might be able to ask this higher power how to make our lives better but an important part of the process is to wait for the answer, to listen to your heart for the guidance and take action based on that. If there is silence, that is a message in itself, but you need to be open and available to hear the silence.

3.       CREATIVITY/FLOW

Accessing Creativity is not based on language, it is based on flow, flow being the idea that you are ‘in the zone.' Your zone might be in the studio painting, creating poetry, writing, rapping or one of the other many creative pursuits out there. Getting into your creative flow is about letting this great ‘thing’ or ‘feeling’ pour through you to let you feel and experience connection on a deeper level and in essence guide you towards stepping into your truest calling. You’re letting this ‘thing’ (spiritual energy) come through your body and manifest itself into a physical creative movement. Obviously you can connect to talking or words through this flow. The only difference between this category and talking is that words that emerge are not products of a controlled cognitive process.

In my experience, spirituality is the most important part of wellness yet it tends to fall by the wayside. If you want to step into yourself more and into the truest version of yourself, you need to find your own unique way of embracing a spiritual practice. Your practice will differ from somebody else’s – acknowledging that this is okay is a great step towards owning your own spiritual practice and not feeling like you need to subscribe to somebody else’s practice or put pressure on somebody else to follow your own practice. As spiritual beings we all have our unique ways of being and doing. Being true to your way will provide you with a huge sense of freedom, happiness & wholeness.

If you're struggling with your own spiritual journey, I'm here to support you. Let's chat. To book a time on my calendar, visit apopstudios.acuityscheduling.com and choose the 'Adult Like a Pro' option. I look forward to helping you step into your highest self. 

-Carlee

Getting Gangsta With Adulting

A while back I spent some time in Florida, with some amazing entrepreneurs, doing some serious grind work for my business! I had an amazing time. Of course I found some time for the beach and to nibble on some delicious treats! I was so excited to indulge in this exotic fruit (on a stick I might add) that I even choreographed a  gangster dance to go along with it. I was so excited for this fruit especially since I was still fairly new to being gluten, dairy & sugar free for the last while.  Everybody was like ‘what the heck is Carlee doing? We’re at a business conference and she’s dancing with her, er …fruit?’ Of course, shortly there after I had one friend dancing next to me and another recording the whole thing.

Fast-forward to when I get back from Florida. I receive a package from my best friend’s mom. I knew the package was coming but I had totally forgotten about it. I was so tired after having to wake up at 3AM to catch my flight back to Philly, that when I got home I was looking forward to getting comfortable and snuggling up with my pillows. It turns out the universe had other plans my my night. I open the package and what did I find? One of the most bad-ass shirts I now own that says: ‘Drink some coffee. Put on some Gangsta Rap and Handle it.’ 

Okay so I don’t drink coffee, but I suddenly found myself so game to ‘Drink some tea, Put on some Gangsta rap, Handle my day and adult like a pro!’ I was super pumped.

I know that many people don’t feel like adulting today or any other day for that matter but here’s the thing, if you shift the way you think about adulting: put your feet down (aka get your ass out of bed), put on your favorite song and handle your day like a gangsta – legally of course - your adulting game will completely transform. Have you ever had those days where you’re walking down the street listening to your song and feeling like yeah, this is my vibe, this is my soundtrack? That is what we need to create for ourselves every. single. day. – getting pumped and excited. In that moment of my gangster fruit dance, I was feeling my own soundtrack--I didn't even need the music! Isn't it time to live a life to your own soundtrack? It'd say so!                     

Real Talk: I can tell you a million and one things that I don’t want to do under the 'adulting' category, but the key to my success has always been getting support when I need it so my question to you is: what do YOU need support around? I'd love to help you step into your highest self. That's why I'm offering you a free Adult Like a Pro strategy session. 

My gluten and diary free dessert dance. @shamaslight

A post shared by A Piece of Positivity Studios (@apopstudios) on Jul 11, 2017 at 3:29pm PDT

Healthy Eating Tips: Feed Your Body, Feed Your Soul

I have always been interested in finding ways to make the process of being healthy fun! Thanks to my Health Coach, I recently realized that I haven’t been putting health and eating healthy into my visualization exercises. So this morning I did this. I imagined feeling super healthy. I went off on a tangent about how I am healthy and how good I feel. During the visualization, a funny thing that I rediscovered is that my body is a temple. We’ve all heard this before, right? But going a bit deeper into this wisdom – I connected with the fact that my body is a vessel for my soul. This realization hit home for me. I imagined that when my ashes are sitting in an urn one day, nobody is going to fill that urn with chemicals or greasy and gross stuff! I wouldn’t want that because I value my soul. My body is the same thing - it’s my vessel that holds something so powerful and so influential to who I am and what I am. Without my body, I wouldn’t be writing this or be able to connect with you!  If I am going to put something in my body, it’s going to be all natural that will make my body and my soul shimmer to be a beacon of light.

I wanted to share this with you because it’s given me new perspective and strength to resist peer pressure and to not let anything tempt me away from my soul. This vessel that is my body is too valuable to let me screw up this one thing that I have that’s been given to me to embody my soul. Without my body there would be no such thing as Carlee Myers or A Piece of Positivity Studios. There would be no such thing as enjoying a cup of tea and having that fuel my soul & inspiration. When I feed my body, I am nourishing my soul. Connecting to this feels like a really important start towards eating healthy from the inside-out, instead of trying to implement a healthy eating plan without connecting to why you’re choosing healthier ways. This wisdom cuts through all the mind games we have to play to convince ourselves to eat healthy and guides us toward doing so organically – pun intended!

With all this said, something that I was struggling with was going to barbecues, because there would be brownies and all sorts of foods to tempt me to put crap in my body. Now that I deeply connect with the truth that my body is a vessel to my soul, I am unlikely to put anything into my body that isn’t going to make my soul and heart better. So it’s going to be much easier to say: ‘No, I am not going to eat that’, and when people ask I’ll say, ‘because I just don’t do that, it’s a part of who I am now’. If we shift the way we think about our bodies, we will be able to really have an impact on the way that we go through life and the way that we feed our soul.

If you are struggling or just want some more support in becoming your highest self, I'm here for you. Visit apopstudios.com and scroll the whole way to the bottom of the page to schedule an Adult Like a Pro Strategy Session with yours truly.

6 Days & 6 Stories about how visualization helped me

Day 6: How Creativity Saved My Psyche & Reconnected me with my Heart

VISUALIZE workshops are 3 hour virtual retreat workshops where I teach people to use visualization exercises, stream of consciousness writing and drawing to get clarity, buildthe life that they want and step into it.

To share how visualization has helped me become the person that I am today, I did a 6 day countdown to my VISUALIZE workshop where each day, I shared a story of how and what I visualized and how it came to fruition. This is the sixth story about how I overcame a traumatic event that was keeping me living in terror.

This is a story very near and dear to my heart that for a long time I couldn’t tell because I felt like it wasn’t mine to tell. When I was a kid, my mom was shot by an ex-boyfriend. She landed up in a medically induced coma. My mom was in hospital for a long time and I ended up living with my dad for a while. What was weird is that I didn’t cry about the incident for a really long time - I was in denial. The result of this denial is that I ended up having chronic nightmares for almost ten years! I didn’t tell my family at all. I would ask my family prying questions to find out whether any of them had nightmares, but I never shared my own. I didn’t really think that having nightmares was something to overcome. I started to think that if nightmares is what sleep is about, then I never wanted to go to sleep again. I felt like I was literally in hell. My body and brain weren’t able to relax and recuperate when I fell asleep. From 12 years old until I was 20, I had horrible nightmares to the point of not being able to move, out of fear that this thing in my dreams would kill me. This fearful thing in my dreams became a huge part of my reality. One day I told my boyfriend at the time about the dreams. I shared that I legitimately couldn’t be the victim of my own mind anymore. I felt like I needed to see somebody or be medicated to solve this horror and save me – if anything out there could. The answer was that there was something that could save me and that there was nothing wrong with me. The problem was that I couldn’t find ‘the thing’ that I needed to find. I tried therapy, religion, X, Y & Z to try and help with this. Finally, I realized that art might be ‘the thing’! I stepped into this idea that art is going to help me and that I needed to dedicate more time towards creating art. I started to ask questions during visualization about what I need to do? I figured out that I needed to get to art school in Philly. I almost didn’t go to Philly, instead, I almost ended up being a tattoo artist which is kind of crazy considering I don't have a single tattoo.

Art was the thing that saved me. Eight years of chronic nightmares started to subside as I got deeper into my creative practice. I started bringing my creative practice into the way I visualized – letting my visualization inform my art and vice versa. It was powerful! I followed my heart because my mind was telling me that there is something wrong with me. My mind was telling me that I am destined to have nightmares for the rest of my life and that I should just avoid sleep. My heart was saying no and guiding me towards making more art because the art is going to show my soul. As I got to realize that the good in my body, in my soul and in the world was so much greater than the negativity and terror, the nightmares became less intense and slowly dissipated. I discovered creativity, which saved my psyche & mind from insanity. In the art making process I started to get more in touch with specific themes and materials that I needed to work with to represent the beauty and positive energy within me. Now I don’t really have nightmares at all with the exception of when I stretch myself thin, am stressed out and/or disconnected with myself.

This story is the reason that I do what I do. I work with women who are struggling to overcome anything - whether you’re in a crappy job, trying to get out of a bad relationship or needing to heal from a traumatic event. It’s all about being happy and reconnecting with yourself to be the best that you can be.  If I can overcome something chronic, that I believed was part of me, than you can overcome anything! I hope that my stories have helped you realize that if you are unhappy right now, you are not this story and that you can step into your heart and become the person you’ve always dreamed of becoming. Stepping into your heart definitely requires support – I have a health & business coach myself...and I went to art school to get even more support in stepping into my highest self! Listening to your heart can help you find the solutions that you need. I guarantee that each and every person holds the solutions to their specific dilemmas. If you hate your job or want to lose weight, you know what you need to do, you just need to find the support and inspiration to get you to do it. Losing 30 pounds isn’t going to be ‘the thing’ that motivates you to get your butt on the treadmill. Picking up a hotty on the street because you got a hot bod, now that’s motivation!

Sharing our vulnerabilities is also important in the process of reconnecting to your heart. We often walk around keeping it all inside and living in a robotic world. Encouraging a culture of sharing our vulnerabilities could help us in solving our problems and healing wounds deep down inside of us.

Thank-you for following my stories over the past while and letting me share them.

Click HERE to start following from the beginning.

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6 Days & 6 Stories about how visualization helped me

Day 4: Using Art to Let Go and Acknowledge How Far I have Come

VISUALIZE workshops are 3 hour virtual retreat workshops where I teach people to use visualization exercises, stream of consciousness writing and drawing to get clarity, buildthe life that they want and step into it.

To share how visualization has helped me become the person that I am today, I did a 6 day countdown to my VISUALIZE workshop, where each day I shared a story of how and what I visualized and how it came to fruition. This is the fourth story about how I use art to let go and to also reflect on how far I have come. Miss the first one? Click here to check out Day 1.

For most of my adult life I have been solely focused on where I want to go instead of where I have been. So, sharing these stories with you has been a great exercise in seeing how far I have actually come. 2 days ago I was rearranging my space for a new studio table and tucked away in a Tupperware container, I came across a side art project that I’d been working on in college. I had tried to create clear paper out of a specific type of glue. And on this weird glue paper, I was recording my emotions every single day and sticking all of the pieces together. I had glued the paper so that I would never be able to see what I was feeling. Except for my career, I knew that it was a dark and unhappy time in my life but I needed to see what I wrote and what I felt, so one by one I started peeling the pieces apart. I was astonished! I ripped one back and it said ‘Lonely’. I ripped the next one back…’Feeling rejected’. The next one, ‘Rejected’…‘Like no-one understands’. I kept peeling. The feelings were a compilation of loneliness, rejection, inspiration and excitement about my artistic practice and where my creative flow was taking me. I realized that art had been the thing that sustained me through many hard times. I had nightmares for a really long time and art pulled me out of that. Art got me out of tough relationships too. When I was feeling like I was not in love with myself and thought no-one understood, art was the thing that kept me going.

When I was in that inspired state I was envisioning a life where I was with a partner who loved and respected me. I was envisioning that I was enough, that I was love and that I was worthy of what I could dream and hope for, whether my envisioning was career related or not. Back then I knew what my career was and I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but I didn’t really know that I had to deal with all this personal stuff – relationships and other crap. But the ‘other crap’ is unavoidable when you want to better your life. I imagined a future where I let go of all the loneliness and rejection in my personal life and started a new project where I was totally okay with looking at those, along with celebrating the fact that I brought self-confidence, happiness and worthiness into my life  and harvested my ability to be alone with myself. For this new project, I put all the pieces of glue paper in a jar of salt water to disintegrate – a symbolic gesture to allow the negative emotions to officially dissolve. The salt water eating away at the glue paper is representative of me saying that I envision a life where I am okay with being alone and when someone doesn’t like me, it’s not rejection anymore.

For a long time I was always seeking love from outside of me and if I had it I was happy and if I didn’t, I was unhappy and disconnected. So to translate this into a new project, 2 days before recording the above video I placed 3 necklaces that I received from previous relationships into salt water. It had only been 2 days and they had already started rusting. This process was symbolic of me being okay with and loving myself and being okay with being alone. The thing about loneliness is that you believe that you are completely and utterly alone and, well, that is just not true. My friends are around and my family is looking out for me. Loneliness is this idea that you don’t love yourself...it's a disconnection with your soul and self. It switches your perception of who you are and what you are and makes you see things or not see things that are not actually there. Instead of seeing all of these amazing people that are surrounding you, you see all of the horrible reasons that they should not be around you. The 3 necklaces in the jar represent relationships that I entered where I was not seeking love in the right way. Through this artistic gesture, I commit to letting go of not getting love from outside of me and letting go of old stories of rejection.

My art and my visualization process is symbolic of how I got out of the bad relationships, how I started my own business, how I lost 30 pounds, how I decided that I am a powerful woman and that I am not afraid to be so. It’s how I became who I am. If it weren’t for visualizing and letting go of my past, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.

I hope you enjoyed my story. Keep your eye on my blog page for upcoming stories or start reading from Day 1: Finding & Encouraging Self-Love.

My VISUALIZE WORKSHOP already took place, sorry you missed it!

Bummed you missed the workshop?

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6 Days & 6 Stories about how visualization helped me!

Day 3: Losing the weight

& gaining a healthier lifestyle

VISUALIZE workshops are 3 hour virtual retreat workshops where I teach people to use visualization exercises, stream of consciousness writing and drawing to get clarity, buildthe life that they want and step into it.

To share how visualization has helped me become the person that I am today, I did a 6 day countdown to my VISUALIZE workshop where each day I shared a story of how and what I visualized and how it came to fruition. This is the third story about how I lost the weight, let go of the baggage and embraced a healthier life!

In 2014 I was 30 pounds overweight and had just gotten out of a 7 year relationship. Everything was happening all at once. My boyfriend at the time and I had broken up 2 weeks before I graduated from college. I found myself newly single and didn’t even notice that I was overweight. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was not in love with the way that I looked and felt, along with how I was putting myself out there in the world. I was blinded and distracted by all the other things going on in my life, like having to complete my senior thesis.

So I get out of this relationship, graduate and realize how unhappy I am with who I am in this moment. Letting go of the relationship and not having a thesis to occupy and avoid, pushed me to see that I had not truly worked on myself in 4 years! I hadn’t been taking care of myself. I wasn’t eating all day and then would binge eat domino’s pizza at night. I was in place where I was feeding my emotions with food. I was totally uncomfortable with sitting with my emotions. I remember walking into my bedroom thinking that I really should meditate and visualize but having to sit and listen to my thoughts was way too painful, so instead I would go and eat some more cereal…I mean I really liked cereal so…?

When I eventually started meditating and visualizing for the first time, it was so hard and scary because I hated what I was thinking. I hated that my thinking would lead me towards eating unhealthy foods. I hated that I had let myself get this out of control into a negative downward spiral. The first time that I sat down to meditate, I had to see the process as a journey and accept that I am overweight and unhappy. The person that I was with at the time mockingly said, ‘You’re gonna meditate, who meditates?’, and I thought to myself that maybe I shouldn’t meditate but thankfully, I decided that I was going to meditate anyways. I moved back to Maryland* for 2 months to stay with my mom and find my grounding so that I could eventually move back to Philadelphia into an apartment. I started meditating every single day. I dedicated at least 10 minutes a day before bed. As the days went by, I realized that I am not my connection to food and I am not my connection to my emotions. These connections are literally an ego mechanism that is separate from me. Meaning that, I would be craving waffles or carbs but actually see that my emotions are craving that, not my body. I started being able to separate the two things from each other. I began visualizing what it would be like to have my ideal healthy body. It wasn’t even about the weight - I wanted to feel healthy and attractive. Once I started to visualize this feeling every day, I started to really get into this feeling and spurring myself on – I was going to look HOT! I felt how great I was going to feel and look. As I started to consciously separate the emotions from the eating, I started to reconnect with what was in me and with what my heart was calling me to do. I ended up moving back to Philly and eating healthier. I visualized and needed accountability, so I started blogging about my health journey. Over time, I reached my goal and maintained it. Ironically, along with the emotional side of eating, I also found out that I am actually intolerant to a lot of foods, like lactose. There are things that we completely ignore but if we pay a little attention and listen to our body, which meditation has helped me do, we will realize that these unhealthy patterns are so not worth it. I have had to learn my lesson over and over again though. Every once in a while I still have cheat days, like this weekend I had vanilla cake with chocolate icing – YUM! Usually when I mediate I tune in with my body and how it’s feeling. So yesterday I felt a bit yucky after the cake but thought that it was no big deal. But when I woke up this morning, I felt awful. Over time it stops being worth it. I used to have favorite foods that I would eat often and not notice that they made me feel gross. I actually didn’t notice that I actually felt gross all the time. Yes, there would be a sense of delight when eating my favorite food, but then two days later I would have a stomach ache.

I envisioned the day when I was 30 pounds lighter and in less than 6 months I found myself there. Now it’s been 3 years and I’ve got muscles and I am doing yoga and things that have shifted my whole lifestyle. My weight loss program was not only about losing weight, it turned into a whole new way of thinking, being and living.

Thank-you for reading my story. I hope it gave you some good ideas. Keep your eye on my blog page for upcoming stories or start reading from Day 1. 

My VISUALIZE WORKSHOP already took place, sorry you missed it!

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6 Days & 6 Stories about how visualization helped me!

Day 2: Attracting Money & A Better Life

VISUALIZE workshops are 3 hour virtual retreat workshops where I teach people to use visualization exercises, stream of consciousness writing and drawing to get clarity, build the life that they want and step into it.

To share how visualization has helped me become the person that I am today, I did a 6 day countdown to my VISUALIZE workshop where each day I shared a story of how and what I visualized and how it came to fruition. This is the second story about how I visualized the money that I need to create a better life for myself. Missed the first one? Click here to check out Day 1.

Two years ago I visualized having enough money to say good-bye to the roommates, live on my own and travel a lot more. I was living in South Philadelphia in a tiny two bedroom apartment with my best friend. While it was great, it was also rough. I worked three jobs: part time teaching an after school program, part time administration job and part time at a grocery store. Thrown in the mix was a free artist residency, which took up 12 hours of my week. I was crazy busy, waking up at 6:30AM and getting home at 11PM. The apartment we lived in was like a hallway with no living room, it was infested with mice, and it was a 20 minute walk just to get to public transit. Did I mention it was rough!?! To put the cherry on top, I had just received a notification that I had to start paying back my student loans. On the phone with the debt collector and overcome with anxiety, I told the woman on the other end that I literally cannot afford to pay my student loans and requested to pay less for now. That wasn’t an option. I realized that I need to get out of this cycle and step into my truer calling. I was all over the place and had no idea how I was going to make more money. I knew what my general calling was: helping other women to step into their calling. This is when I started visualizing and meditating as a step towards getting out of chaos and step into my truer calling.

A year ago I did my first Facebook live video. It was a tour of my very first roommate-less apartment! Because I had started and committed to meditation and visualization, I received ways to put my dreams into actions. Everything I did in those exercises got put into action. Having my own apartment – hence the video of me prancing around in my very own apartment showing what I achieved without the help of anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, then, it was rough too. I was just starting my own business and still scraping by. I was also adjusting to paying double the rent I was used to. However, I continued to visualize what life is going to be like. I knew I wanted to travel more and express and see life to its fullest. I wanted to take the next big step of independence and fulfillment for the life that I wanted. I wanted to build a life where I could afford milk and eggs and just go out to a restaurant without it being a big financial deal. In addition to this I also wanted to travel, grow my business and have an impact on people’s lives. So I focused, sat down and did these exercises. I focused and said what I want out of life. Visualization is basically being grateful for something before you have it - you’re pretending that you already have it. I affirmed that ‘I am so grateful that I got to travel across the country and see this awesome person, and do this really awesome thing and I got to chill on the beach….’. While actually doing this, I got all of these ideas. I remembered that I do have a friend in San Diego that would let me couch surf. I could totally do a ‘Feeling Salty’ workshop (my signature workshop) and expand my impact that way. I visualized and  imagined what success looked like and reverse engineered it, which means imagining what success looks like then imagining what steps would get me there followed by action. Visualization is very much about the action too!

Now, I am able to live roommate free and live on my own and know that I am doing this, I got it. I am able to travel more and see the things that I want to see all across the country on a regular basis. I envisioned the money to do all of these things and create a better experience for myself. You can too!

Thank-you for reading my story. I hope it gave you some good ideas. Keep your eye on my blog page for upcoming stories or check out my first one here.

My VISUALIZE WORKSHOP already took place, sorry you missed it! 

Bummed you missed the workshop? Attend Feeling Salty instead! 

CLICK HERE for a FREE GIFT from me.

6 Days & 6 Stories about how visualization helped me!

Day 1: Finding & Encouraging Self-love

VISUALIZE workshops are 3 hour virtual retreat workshops where I teach people to use visualization exercises, stream of consciousness writing and drawing to get clarity, build the life that they want and step into it.

To share how visualization has helped me become the person that I am today, I did a 6 day countdown to my VISUALIZE workshop, where each day I shared a story of how and what I visualized and how it came to fruition. The first story is about how I spent the last year visualizing a space where I was fiercely in love with myself and attracted people who loved and respected me in that way.

I used to wake up feeling kind of lonely and not that happy with where I was. I felt like I was not doing enough in my business and not achieving the goals that I wanted to achieve. I’d be going to gym and working on my body but something didn’t feel quite right. In essence, I felt like I was not enough. When I started doing visualization every morning, I would imagine what my life would look like in the future. I would imagine what enough and even more would be like! I would feel the feelings of being so grateful for the fact that I am so in love with myself: I love the way my heart and soul tell me how to be authentic, I love my body, I love that I am creative, I love that I have these ambitions and these dreams and I really love that I only attract people who really love and respect me and view me as equal. If I happened to wake up feeling down or feeling suppressed, I would counteract that feeling with a positive affirmation like,  ‘I feel so expansive and feel so in charge of my life and I am so in love with the fact that I love this’. What happened over time, is that every morning when I did this, I would actually start to feel excited about being expansive and being in love with myself.

Getting to a point of loving myself has been a process of re-programming my brain, switching from ‘I am not enough’ to ‘I am way more than enough’. I literally started to change my automatic thought patterns towards cultivating a truer, deeper feeling of self-love. I shifted from thoughts like: ‘I don’t make enough money from my business so I’m a failure’ or ‘I’m single again so there must be something wrong with me’ to more true thoughts and facts like: ‘Look at all the things that I am doing for myself. I love that I own my own business and I love that I am surrounded by all these amazing people’.

My visualization space became a commitment to myself where I encouraged and pumped myself up for finding the self-love that I could only find from within, remembering that love was not an external thing.  Over time, visualization reminded me that ‘You are what you love and not what loves you’. So I learned and encouraged myself to make my glass over flow because if your glass is not overflowing, you cannot pour that liquid into someone else’s cup. You also can’t ask for liquid from someone else’s empty cup. My growing sense of self-love has had a domino effect.  I love myself because I go to yoga, so I keep going to yoga. I love myself because I am very dedicated to sharing my story. I love myself for my dedication to connection, which is why I connect here and on Facebook live.  

Part of the Domino effect was realizing that, as I fell in love with myself I was weeding out people who actually didn’t love me in the way that I wanted to be loved. As I realized more of my value, I realized that my biggest asset is being expansive, open and vulnerable. A year ago, I remember feeling like I had to be apologetic for things that are typically masculine – like owning my own business. Imagine being apologetic for that!? I felt like I was constantly moulding to what everyone else wanted. I would mould, then be unhappy and then wonder why I was unhappy. Visualization helped me to realize that I don’t need to mold, I can be the puzzle piece where all the people in my life who don’t fit the puzzle, don’t have to be in my life. Through this process, I have made more genuine connections and friends. I have even made friends across the country and have attracted friendships where we can hold each other in an authentic way and help each other up.

Overall, visualization helped me to let go of the idea that I have to be lesser than or repress myself, because I don’t and neither do you. Keep your eye out for my next 5 stories where I’ll go in-depth into stories around health, relationships and what’s been going on in my life.

My VISUALIZE WORKSHOP already took place, sorry you missed it!

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