The Myth that Self-care will leave us alone and unhappy

I’ve noticed a common fear with many of my clients and a lot of people out there. Many people fear that if they take care of themselves AKA fuel their creative soul, they’re going to end up alone and isolated. They fear that if they get into their artistic flow, which can be better than sex believe it or not, they’ll become so blissed out and even forget about time and other responsibilities. This crosses the board beyond being creative or artistic. This fear holds an underlying belief that taking time for ourselves or doing something small for ourselves will somehow leave us unhappy and alone. We assume that we’ll be neglecting the people that we care most about and that people will get mad at us.

Personally I can relate. There’s a weird myth that once you go into self-care mode, you’ll never get yourself out. I see the whole picture as a bubble bath analogy. You’ll never take a bubble bath and say, ‘I am going to take a bubble bath tonight but I am terrified that I’ll be alone and my friends and family will stop loving me and I’ll be really unhappy. I’ll forget that there’s an outside world’. You wouldn’t say this about a bubble bath right? But this is literally the thought process that for some reason comes up when we talk about self-care. If you want to spend the day cleaning space, getting nails done, getting into studio etc., you’re not going to forget that there is an outside world. You might miss a meal because you’re in flow and excited, but you’re not going to forget about the other parts of your life. If you’re an artist, creative or just a person trying to find some time for yourself and you feel like you’re going to be alone and unhappy because you do this, I challenge you to connect with the bubble bath analogy. You’re not going to sit in the bubble bath and forget about the people you love or the relationships that you have to build and nurture. You’re going to be in the bath and enjoy it for between 15 – 30 minutes. If you go beyond that time you’ll start to see the crinkles in your fingers and most likely decide that it’s a good time to get out, dry off and get back to your life. You’ll even feel rejuvenated after your bath!

When I was in Florida 2 weeks ago, I took 2 extra days to chill and do nothing. Literally after 1.5 days of enjoying this, I wanted to get back to work and re-engage with my clients and the world. There’s a point where we need to recharge our batteries and trust that we’ll get the urge and remember to do what we need to do to balance ourselves out. I want to debunk the fable that if we go on vacation we’ll never want to come back or if you are in studio you’re going to come out 3 days later like a gremlin. You’ll eventually get that feeling that you get when your fingers crinkle in the bubble bath – you’ll want to get back to your life and you’ll get back to it feeling more energized, productive and balanced. So go and take that bubble bath or your version of it. I urge you. Go!