One of the most common blocks that is uncovered as part of my work with clients is fear of abandonment.
Fear of abandonment can impact our decision making and can easily infiltrate our lives in small and big ways like...
People pleasing
Difficulty setting boundaries
Being very sensitive to others feelings and feeling the same
Difficulty saying no to unwanted obligations and responsibilities
Putting aside our own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want
Being extremely loyal and remaining in harmful situations way too long
And more...
If the above items resonate, I invite you to pause right here and apply for a complimentary discovery call now.
For those of us who have experienced some sort of devastating loss, it makes total sense that we would have this fear of abandonment because we've already lost something incredibly important to us.
Because we know how painful loss can be, we may, consciously or unconsciously, want to do everything in our power to make sure that it doesn't happen to us again.
Here's the irony.
Oftentimes the block, fear of abandonment, creates the abandonment that we are so desperately trying to avoid.
For instance, perhaps in your past relationship your partner had an affair and the relationship ended in a dramatic and painful divorce. You now have this fear of abandonment which is totally justified by your past experience - it makes sense!
But now, you find yourself in a healthy relationship with a partner you love deeply, yet you're afraid they will cheat and leave you like your last partner did. In response to this fear, you end up consistently going through their phone and asking questions that make your partner feel like they are under the hot light in an interrogation.
These fears lead to unconscious or conscious behaviors that create separation and disconnection in the relationship...the very opposite outcome of what you were trying to achieve.
Eek.
This is where my signature 5-step system, The Stress Less Method™ can help. Here's the break down:
Manage Your Energy - This step supports you in managing your physiological stress response to release the anxiety and regain your ability to effectively problem solve.
Identify your Blocks - This step supports you in identifying that fear of abandonment is the block to begin with. You can't change what you aren't aware of. Simply identifying this block can support you in choosing another way and another outcome.
Create a Plan - During this step we look at which of the identified blocks will create the most impact when removed. This is where we answer the famous Gary Keller question - "What is one thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?"
Remove Your Blocks One by One - Together we look at exactly what needs to shift to pull this block out by the roots and replace it with something supportive. This is where you can begin to experience the emotional freedom you've always wanted.
Embrace Grace - This is the point in the process where you're in a beautiful state of mind more often than not AND you also realize that you aren't perfect nor are you meant to be. This is the step where we rinse and repeat as additional blocks appear - 'cause we all know life throws us curve balls.
Are you ready to identify what's holding you back from experiencing true emotional freedom? Click here to apply for a complimentary discovery call.
In your corner,
Carlee