Do you know what the term Emotional Sobriety means?
Whether you're familiar with the term, feel like it's an unrealistic pipedream or something else, I invite you to read on...
To me Emotional Sobriety is best summed up in the words of Ingrid Clayton, PhD in her Psychology Today article, What Is Emotional Sobriety?:
...Emotional sobriety is less about the quality of the feeling ("good" or "bad") and more about the general ability to feel one's feelings. Being restored to sanity isn't about getting the brass ring—or cash and prizes—or being "happy, joyous, and free" all the time, but it is about being in the present moment, whatever it happens to look like. What are you experiencing right now? And how about now? Can you be present to all of your feelings without any one of them defining you?
Sometimes emotional sobriety is about tolerating what you are feeling. It is about staying sober no matter what you are feeling. It means that you don't have to blame yourself or your program because life can be challenging. It means that you don't necessarily need to do something to make the feeling go away. Many people will take their bad feeling and try to pray it, meditate it, service it, spiritually distract themselves from it, thinking that this means they are working a good program. This experience is actually called spiritual bypass.
John Welwood coined the term spiritual bypass and defined it as "using spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep personal, emotional 'un-finished business,' to shore up a shaky sense of self, or to belittle basic needs, feelings, and developmental tasks, all in the name of enlightenment." The shorthand for spiritual bypass is when a person wears a mask or presents a false spiritual self that represses aspects of that person's true self. Spiritual bypass involves bolstering our defenses rather than our humility.
As you can imagine, loss and stress bring up A LOT of uncomfortable emotions and often people will come to me to find tools and tips to eradicate those uncomfortable feelings.
(You can apply for a complimentary discovery call with me here.)
This is human nature. If there's a problem, we want to fix it.
BUT...and that's a big ol' but...long term emotional freedom doesn't come from fixing whatever problem is in front of you. It comes from being there for yourself.
Emotional Freedom is emotional sobriety.
Emotional Freedom is listening to oneself, mirroring, validating and empathizing with oneself.
Emotional Freedom is holding the space to truly see yourself and nurture yourself by being present with your internal world.
Let's be real...
It's not easy work and that's exactly why so many people decide that working with a mentor is the way to go...
Because this is the deep work...
This is the place where we are in the trenches acknowledging and holding space for parts of ourselves that have been long ago forgotten, parts of ourselves that have been neglected, and parts of ourselves that have maybe even been abused...
This is the place where emotional sobriety and emotional freedom is born...
If you know you need to do the work, that it's time to do the work, and that you'd benefit from getting 'a little support around here', let's talk.
Click here to apply for a complimentary discovery call with me today.
Always in your corner,
Carlee