How to Cultivate a Healthy Relationship With Your Salary

September is finally here, fall is coming, and that means that we have a new theme on The Stress Less Show! This month, we are focusing on one of the top stressors in the US for women - and it’s a big one! We are talking all about job security. Feeling secure in our jobs is a major concern for both men and us women and a lot of that has to do with everyone’s favorite thing to talk about - money and salary.

Getting paid what we are worth and having enough money to provide for ourselves and our families can be an overwhelming challenge at times, leading us to work ourselves way past our breaking point. We have that fear in the back of our minds reminding us of all of our student loans, credit card debt, car payments, the list goes on. The cycle of earning money and spending it all never seems to end.

That is why I brought on Executive Coach, Erin Owen, to discuss our mindset around the money and salary we make, and the opportunities we have in our careers. Erin’s interest in this line of work began after she noticed her previous work as a corporate consultant was really leaving her feeling empty, despite the opportunities she had and salary she was making as a consultant. She realized that she had to make a change.

“I knew that I had to re-evaluate where money fit in my list of priorities and also consider other ways in which I was getting fed or paid by my work experiences.”

Since then, Erin has created the Executive Career Reinvention methodology and helped hundreds of clients around the world reinvent their careers. Through her own journey and her work with clients, Erin has a few tips to share with us about how we can shift our own mindset around money and salary so we can create a more fulfilling relationship with our careers and our money.

Tip # 1: View Money As Energy

Erin’s own relationship with money shifted drastically as she explored Eastern ideas and philosophies - most importantly, the idea that everything in the world is a form of energy. The first step in reshaping our mindset around money in our career is to view money as another form of energy in the world.

For many of us, money can feel like a negative force in our lives. We look at the numbers in our bank accounts and our bills and it feels cold and even disheartening. However, by viewing money as energy, we begin to change the way we approach our financial situation. It becomes easier to view money in a positive light which Erin notes is key in improving our financial picture.

“I find that when clients give really positive attention to money, it's almost like that money changes from being like a misbehaving toddler to their best friend. If you give something positive consistent attention, it's going to want to hang out with you and treat you well. It's going to give back in a positive way.”

This positive approach to money is also key in overcoming our fears around facing the hard numbers in our finances. As we approach these numbers with the mindset that our money is there to support us and provide energy to our career goals, we start to make decisions in our lives that lead to more abundance in our careers. We are no longer afraid of what money will do to our lives. Instead, we welcome what we can accomplish with the energy and potential money provides us.

Tip #2: Release The Tension You Feel Around Money

Often, we set goals and make financial choices based on where we currently are in our lives. We take the logical next steps in the career we have because that is what we think we should do, but the reality is that we might not even want to take those steps. As a result, we can feel constricted by our current relationship with money and our career. That constricted feeling then blocks us from building the financial and professional future we truly want for ourselves.

That’s why Erin’s next tip is to notice that tension we feel around our relationship with money and begin to release it. To do this, we may need to take a closer look at our current career and life goals and reconsider how they relate to the impact we want to have on the world and in our relationships.

“If you step out of your box that you've built and that you're living in, you can suddenly see more possibilities that are going to give you that flexibility and freedom with money.”

Tip #3: Remember Money Is Not The Only Way To Exchange Energy

Our personal relationship with money is a crucial first step to heal our mindset around money, but what about our relationship with money and others? Money seems to be a topic most people try to avoid talking about at all costs, but it can be necessary when we are paying others, negotiating a salary or even making a donation to a charity.

When we are making any exchange of money with other people, we often can feel uncomfortable or unsure. However, Erin suggests that we keep in mind that, since money exchanges are really exchanges of energy at their core, we consider all of the ways we can exchange that energy.

“Think about in relationships, how do you exchange money? How do you exchange energy and what might serve both of you best?”

While money is one way to give another person our energy, we can also give our time or our expertise to that person. By viewing all of the ways we are exchanging energy in our relationships, we create a more holistic view of how we are serving the higher purpose in our lives. Understanding the flow of energy transforms conversations around money into nourishing conversations that allow us to feel empowered and abundant in our lives instead of being painful experiences we want to avoid.

if you are a mid or senior level leader who wants more meaning at work, The Executive Career Reinvention Program may be just what you're looking for. Erin and her team of coaches work with leaders to redefine what you want to be at the next stage of your career. You can learn more by visiting You can also apply for a free call with Erin by accessing The Start Your Reinvention Application page here.

This episode of the Stress Less Show was sponsored by Erin Owen and the Executive Career Reinvention Program. View a full transcript of this episode here.