How to Cultivate a Healthy Relationship With Your Salary [The Stress Less Show - Episode 31]

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>> Carlee: Do you know you're worth more than you're being paid but don't know what to do about it? You'll find out on this episode of The Stress Less Show exactly what to do about it. I'm Carlee Meyers, a stress management expert, and one thing I hear day in and day out is that we feel like we've tried everything when it comes to stress management. We may have tried the mainstream approaches to managing stress, but have we really tried to get to the root of the issue? Each episode, I bring on experts and leaders to not just put a Band-Aid on your stress but to actually get to the root. This month, we're really focusing on job security - specifically, money, salary, and opportunities - and so I brought on an amazing guest expert to really bring home and give us some guidance here. So Erin Owan is the creator of the Executive Career Reinvention methodology. She has been an executive coach author and speaker since 2004. Erin has worked with hundreds of clients for more than... for more than 15 countries around the world and lives with her husband and two sons in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Throughout her years coaching, Erin has always taken an interesting approach to integrating Eastern approaches and practices into her work and the same approach applies how she views money. Erin, thank you so much for coming on the show.

>> Erin: Absolutely. Thanks for having me.

>> Carlee: Absolutely. So I'm curious. How did you get into this line of work?

>> Erin: Yeah so I was working previously as a corporate consultant and with a lot of consulting jobs you know that work was paid really well and had huge upside in terms of opportunities for advancement, but the truth is it was really draining my energy and killing my soul. So I knew that I had to re-evaluate where money fit in my list of priorities and also consider other ways in which I was getting fed or paid by my work experiences.

>> Carlee: And so tell me what. What kind of. What changed for you your relationship with money or relationship with advancement, salary, opportunities like what shifted to get you in a place where you're able to consult and coach and and do, be the expert in this kind of field?

>> Erin: Absolutely. I mean I've always been fascinated by things from the east and what I learned the idea that everything is energy - including money - it really changed my mindset. So I have to say like the number one tip I can give to your listeners is if you want to reduce stress around money and really kind of bend and manipulate money to work for you, then you'll have to change your thinking. It's not about dollars and cents and whether you have enough, that it's really an energetic exchange. So think about money as energy.

>> Carlee: It reminds me of sometimes I'll have some of my clients they they hold some serious resentment around money and we write a letter to it. Really trying to shift the energy because if they view it as negative or evil, they're going to push it away versus if they view it as supportive and there for them then they're going to attract it. So that's kind of what it reminds me of.

>> Erin: Absolutely absolutely. I find that when clients give really positive attention to money, it's almost like that money changes from being like a misbehaving toddler to their best friend right? If you give something positive consistent attention, it's going to want to hang out with you and treat you well. It's going to give back in a positive way.

>> Carlee: Yeah absolutely. And it's what's interesting is I'm... It's also reminding me of the book - I forget who the author is - it's "The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind." And it's that same... exactly what you're talking about. It's how. How. Almost like how the wealthy think they think. They they support and love and nurture money as energy. And so it really flows.

>> Erin: Great. I didn't know about that book but now it's good to be affirmed by an official author.

>> Carlee: Yes exactly. So what else do you recommend for... For people who are maybe afraid of looking at their numbers or have a weird relationship with with money?

>> Erin: Yeah absolutely. For my clients who are afraid of doing just that, looking at their numbers, like their experience has been that money is really elusive and it's scary and it's a big mystery. But when they dig into their expenses and their income sources and they give it that positive attention they really spend time in their budget, their fear dissipates and then they see there are new possibilities. Including for one of my business owner clients, I had her do this and work through her fear and she actually ended up reducing her expenses, increasing the revenue in her business, and being able to sell it for more. And for her that was life changing because selling her business was the key moment at which she was able to transform her life and reinvent her career. So that simple step of changing how you view money as being about energy and giving it positive attention can have a ripple effect that has an amazing bottom line in your life and your career.

>> Carlee: Wow. So I can't even imagine if she had been avoiding her money, then she would have never had the opportunity to even realize that her expenses were off. She would... and then therefore never been able to make those changes to sell her business and do... Wow that is... That is an amazing story. What about clients who are working in a more corporate job who are looking to attract more money what, do you have a story for a client and a circumstance like that?

>> Erin: Yeah absolutely. I find I hear a lot from clients in corporate America that they wish that they could leave their job, but they make too much money which is kind of interesting because you're like how does that work? But they feel just as constrained by what I call the golden handcuffs as people who maybe don't have as much money and they have a tight budget. So the key is to shift the mindset first and really breathe into the possibilities of money and look at different ways in which you both receive energy from your career and work experience and are able to give back and contribute. So for example for one of my clients who felt really stuck in his career because of the money thing. When we had him step back and evaluate how he wanted to have meaning what kind of impact he wanted to make in his career, he started to relax the physical tension in his body and, as a result, opened up more creative thinking about how he could make change in his career. And also, he noticed the choices he was making right. We make choices that support our current relationship with money. So once he shifted his thinking, he was able to realize he didn't have to have a second house. He didn't have to have that cottage in the Poconos. He could make some different choices that would free up his ability to advance in his career and maybe not be so caught up in the golden handcuffs.

>> Carlee: So it's almost thinking about a lot of the work that you're doing as when you're helping folks reinvent their career and thinking about their relationship with money is also thinking. Well what is the lifestyle that I want to live... So that... Like do I really want those things? And probably not because I would be happy with X Y and Z. Is that fair?

>> Erin: Absolutely. And one of the concepts I share is my clients is you know, there's a micro economy that exists at every income level. Just as for a business, there's a micro economy that exists at every every revenue level for a business right. If you want a website designer for your business, you can find the two hundred dollar person or the two hundred thousand dollar person. The same thing goes for when you're in your life making choices about housing, clothing, food, transportation. Right. If you step out of your box that you've built and that you're living in, you can suddenly see more possibilities that are going to give you that flexibility and freedom with money.

>> Carlee: And it is I think it absolutely is that when you relax your body, you kind of open your perspective and you're able to see outside of your box and even explore your own box like knowing whether to reduce your expenses or. You know that's that's absolutely interesting. So how would you what would you recommend in terms of the relationship with money between people like between other people how do you shift? Like is it... is it still a mindset shift when you're relating to other people with a money exchange?

>> Erin: Yeah. You especially if you are somebody who likes to give back philanthropically. You can give time, you can give expertise, you can also give money. So think about in relationships, how do you exchange money? How do you exchange energy and what might serve both of you best?

>> Carlee: That's it. Absolutely. It's all about the... The higher good. Yeah it sounds like really the shift that needs to be happening is not necessarily... Yes we need to look at our numbers, yes we need to do this, but first there's something first that we need to do and a lot of us are neglecting that first step. Wow. Wow.

>> Erin: Yeah, thanks for having me on, Carlee, it's been great to talk to you about this.

>> Carlee: Absolutely. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Now if you are a mid or senior level leader who wants more meaning at work, The Executive Career Reinvention Program may be just what you're looking for. Erin and her team of coaches work with leaders to redefine what you want to be at the next stage of your career. So if this is of interest to you, you can learn more by visiting Erin Owen dot com. And if you qualify, you can even apply for a free call with Erin on her Web site by accessing The Start Your Reinvention Application page and we will share all of the information to that in the links below in the show notes. And by the way, once you submit your application, it doesn't go into the ether to disappear. All of the applications are reviewed within twenty four hours within the next business day. So... Her and her team will absolutely be in touch. So this concludes this episode of The Stress Less Show. We're really excited to have had such a great guest Erin. Thank you so much for being on the show.

>> Erin: Thank you, Carlee, what a great topic. Happy to talk about it.

>> Carlee: Absolutely. And we will see everyone next week on the next episode of The Stress Less Show.