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How many times have you been called selfish? One thing I’ve found is that women often get called three things: fat, crazy, and selfish. Now, fortunately, there are so many amazing companies and individuals - nutritionists, health coaches, fitness trainers, therapists, you name it - that are doing incredible work reclaiming the word crazy and standing up for body positivity. But what about selfishness?
The truth is when most people call someone selfish, what they really mean is the word narcissist. Here’s the thing though, being selfish and being a narcissist is NOT the same thing. Being selfish is all about putting your needs first and making sure that your cup is overflowing so that you can give more to the world.
So this month on The Stress Less Show, we are reclaiming the word selfish because we deserve to put ourselves first! Here are three tips from yours truly to help you get started on reclaiming selfish and putting your needs at the top of your priority list!
Tip #1: Get Clear On Your Purpose
Think about all the things you did today - do you know why you did them? Living a selfish life where we put our needs first means that we stay focused on the tasks that serve us and truly make us happy. However, when we don’t know what our purpose is, we end up feeling stuck.
A lot of us are running around like crazy… We're checking things off the to-do list yet at the end of the day, we feel like we haven't done anything. It's because we haven't moved forward on the things that truly matter to us.
That is why my first tip for being selfish is to start investigating within yourself what your life’s purpose is. My purpose, for example, is helping myself and others reduce stress. Once I figured that out, I was able to not only start and grow my business but build a personal life that allowed me to serve that purpose as well.
Take some time to reflect on what your purpose is - it can be anything you want! It doesn’t even have to be anything concrete or career-related. Your purpose may just be a feeling you want to have in all things you do. All that matters is that your purpose is clear to you and makes you feel truly fulfilled.
Tip #2: Move On It, Work Smarter, Not Harder
Once you have your purpose clearly defined in your mind, the next step is to take action and actually move on it. Your purpose is there to help you assess how you can put your energy into the right places.
You're gonna focus on what's most important to you and you're gonna get that done first.
Many of us may have a clear idea of what we want but we don’t prioritize the things we need to do to make those ideas happen. This leads to that feeling of not getting anything done we talked about earlier. When you have a clear purpose, it becomes your north star. You can use it to ask yourself what tasks or responsibilities you can let go of so you can work on the things that matter to you.
Tip #3: Take Time Off Regularly
My last tip for being selfish is probably the most dismissed - take time off! Taking time off may seem like a luxury, but it’s not. Your mental health and wellbeing is not a luxury, so if you need to take a break, take one! Whether you are taking time off to hang with friends, go sing karaoke, or just take a freaking nap, it is SO necessary to switch out of the hustle and go-go-go mode sometimes to take care of ourselves. Especially for my fellow entrepreneurs out there!
Self-care is so underrated these days and I have to say that it is the reason that I've made it as far as I have.
I owe so much of my success as a business owner to the time I have spent on my own personal growth and happiness. It allows me to truly show up in my business each day and feel happy and excited about the life and business I am creating for myself. So schedule in your favorite activities, block off some me time on your calendar and do whatever you need to do for you. Allow yourself to connect to what your soul truly needs to be happy - and don’t hesitate to be gloriously selfish!
In the spirit of being selfish, I want to invite you to the brand new self-care conference I’ve co-founded, SELF(ISH)Philly! SELF(ISH)Philly is a transformative self-care event happening on Friday, April 3rd that is going to be filled with some of the best wellness and self-care resources in the area. Learn more and grab your ticket here. See you there!