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- Carlee
Are you being selfish enough? We'll find out on this episode of the Stress Less Show. Hi, I'm Carlee Myers, your friendly stress management expert, and this month we are reclaiming the word selfish. This week, we're going to do something a bit different. It's actually just going to be the two of us. Every so often, I like to hop on the show solo to expand on important topics, concepts and teachings. And today is one of those days.
- Carlee
So now I want to tell you a little bit more about me, because I don't actually share much about the every episode. I help professionals just like you who feel overworked, overwhelmed, on the verge of burnout, relieve stress so that they can find more joy and more time for what's most important to them. Look, I believe that there is no one size fits all when it comes to stress management. And that is the approach that I take with all of my clients.
- Carlee
Now, today, we're talking about being selfish. Specifically what it means to be a woman and be selfish. What I've found is that women are called three things. Incredibly often we are called fat, we are called crazy and we are called selfish. Now, there's a ton of amazing information and people and experts out there addressing this concept of fat, right, body positivity, fat phobia.
- Carlee
There's nutritionists, there's health coaches. There's I mean, the whole gamut. There's awareness around fat being an insult and what we should do about it, right? Crazy. I don't know about you guys. If you've seen the Nike campaign about crazy, but they created this incredible campaign around women and the concept of crazy. And at the end of the day, they they reclaimed that word. Show 'em what crazy looks like, they say. Right. And that conversation was able to start with them.
- Carlee
But what we're left with is no one's talking about women being called selfish. What I've found is that most women when or most people when they call women selfish or when they call someone selfish in general, they're not saying the word selfish. They mean the word narcissist. So they're saying you're being a narcissist. And you know what, I have to tell you, being selfish and being Narcisse a narcissist is not the same thing. I repeat, this is not the same thing.
- Carlee
Being selfish is all about putting your needs first. Making sure that your cup is overflowing so that you can give more to the world. So my goal in this episode and the coming episodes is to help us reclaim the word selfish so that we can start taking care of ourselves, doing the work that we need to be doing without all of the guilt, without all of the shame and without all of the baggage that comes with it. We are not narcissists.
- Carlee
We are selfish, incredibly, gloriously selfish. That being said, I have three tips for you on being selfish. And these are basic. A basic outline of what you can do to truly be selfish. What you can do to truly fill your own cup.
- Carlee
Now, since I love talking to the professionals, I love talking to the type-A lady bosses out there.
- Carlee
I'm going to be very specific on this. You know, talking to this very specific area, the first tip that I want to give you is to get clear on your purpose. A lot of us are running around like crazy. We're doing things for one person. We're doing things for another person. We are just doing, doing, doing. We're checking things off the to do list and we are going. And yet at the end of the day, we feel like we haven't done anything.
- Carlee
It's because we haven't moved forward on our purpose. We haven't moved forward on the things that truly matter to us. That business we wanted to start, that thing we wanted to do. We didn't move on it. So getting clear on our purpose will enable us to have such clarity so that we can say, wait, this is the priority. This is the thing I'm gonna do first. So, for instance, my purpose is to help the world and - not just the world myself - Stress less. And so everything that I do is in support of that purpose. Now, once you determine your purpose. And when I say purpose, by the way, I mean an umbrella item. This is not like I am. Your purpose could just be happy. Your purpose could just to be feel connected. It doesn't have to be anything. I'm gonna be a nurse. I'm going to do this. No, it can just be a feeling that you want to have.
- Carlee
But once you get clear on your purpose, what you're gonna do is you're gonna move on it. You are gonna start working smarter and not harder. You're gonna focus on what's most important to you and you're gonna get that done first and let go of the things that don't support you. OK, so doing that favor for a friend isn't gonna be necessary anymore unless your your purpose is to feel extra connected to the people that are most important to you in your life.
- Carlee
Right. Really focusing it in working smarter, not harder. And lastly, take time off. Take time for yourself. Take time for your friends. Take time to go sing karaoke. Take time for a freaking nap. Take time. Self-care is so underrated these days and it's the reason I have to say that it is literally the reason that I've made it as far as I have. It's the reason that I have a successful business, it's the reason that I not only have a successful business, but I am happy doing what I do.
- Carlee
It's because I take care of myself. So whether it's taking time off or scheduling time into your schedule to do those activities or don't do anything. Make sure that you're taking that time for yourself. Blocking off that time not to work, but to focus on your personal growth. What you need, what your soul needs to be happy.
- Carlee
Now, at this point, you're probably wondering why I'm so hype about reclaiming the word selfish and being selfish. Well, I chuckle.
- Carlee
But aside from the obvious right, it's important to put ourself first and take care of ourselves, right? That's the obvious. I've co-founded a conference called Selfish Philly.
- Carlee
We will have free facials massages, Philadelphia's best wellness resources, speakers. I mean, kick ass speakers at this event. We're gonna be talking about what it means to be selfish. Across the board. And we're not gonna be talking about the easy stuff either. We're gonna be talking general wellness. We're gonna be talking money. And we're even gonna be talking about. Dun, dun, dun.
- Carlee
Pleasure. Pleasure. It's going to be one of the biggest wellness events in Philadelphia of the freaking year. So to find out more information. Clink, click the link in the description or if you're watching on Insta find the link in the bio. All right. Now, what I want to know from you is what it means to you to be selfish? Does it mean taking time off? Does it mean going to the doctor? Does it mean working on that side hustle business? What does it mean to you to be selfish, to fill your cup first before anybody else? So this concludes this episode of The Stress Less Show. If you've enjoyed this week's episode, let us know by giving us a big old thumbs up and hitting that follow or subscribe button. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week.