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Carlee (00:02):
Are you pissed off at religion or frustrated or maybe disillusioned. If you are, or if you've been there, believe me, I've been there too, and you're absolutely not alone. And this episode of the Stress Less Show, we're doing something a little bit different and it's just going to be you and I. No guest, no expert, just a real conversation. Hi, I'm Carlee Myers, your friendly stress management expert. And this month we're talking about spirituality and religious trauma. And what I do is I actually support female leaders who are overworked and exhausted to find a sense of peace and freedom that they desire. And as a result of our work together, they learn these female leader leaders, they learn how to not only deepen their spiritual connection, but also they learn those tactical tools so that they can experience more free time, more efficiency and more prosperity.
Carlee (01:04):
Now, I wasn't originally planning on recording a single episode of the Stress Less Show show by myself. And the more I dug into the content for this month, I felt that it was really important that I stepped forward and I share my own experience with spirituality. Now, many of you know that when I was young, when I was about 12 years old, I experienced a trauma. My mom had an ex boyfriend who wasn't quite ready to move on, or maybe he had moved on a little bit too much. And he ended up breaking into my childhood home and trying to kill my mom. And, you know, just so you know, my mom is alive and well these days, she, if you saw her, you would have absolutely no idea. But for me, I ended up struggling for a long time. Now you may have heard me speak on stages about my experience with this and how I would ask people for advice.
Carlee (01:59):
And I would get the same five or so responses every time. Hey, have you tried therapy? Have you tried meditation, yoga, changing your diet, hitting the gym, but very rarely do I talk about one of the main struggles of this time. Now I was raised in a good old back country, Christian family, and it was a wonderful religion to be brought up in. But when I experienced trauma, the only thing that I really had to fall back on were those five mainstream approaches and religion. I was raised to believe that if you were struggling, if you were having a hard time, you could pray. And if you pray that many of your problems would be kind of gone, they would be fixed. They would be solved if you just asked. And so as a 12 year old girl, I, you know, one that was raised in the church and one that really valued, uh, the Christian faith, I, when I was struggling with PTSD and overwhelm and, and night terrors and all of the crazy symptoms that come along with PTSD, the thing that I was doing every single night was praying every single moment praying, and I would pray and I would pray and I would pray.
Carlee (03:23):
And I ask God to take away my night terrors and my struggle and, and to heal my mom, who at the time was in a medically induced coma in the hospital. And I was, as they like to say, a prayer warrior, praying constantly for guidance, for support to fix the issues that were running rampant in my life. Please, God get rid of these night terrors. I think that's the one prayer I would pray over and over and over again. And I share that because as a result of all of that prayer, and as a result of all of that struggle, I ended up becoming incredibly resentful of the Christian faith. And I know I am not the only one. I became resentful of many things. I first, but at the top of the list, I was that God wasn't answering my prayers, the prayer that I had every night, please help me get rid of these night terrors. And my darkest days, I felt abandoned by my higher power. And that sucks. And I know I'm not the only one who's experienced this. I've had many conversations with clients, with colleagues at speaking engagements and things like that. Trainings with people who have experienced the same thing, it doesn't even have to be Christianity. It could be any religion where they've turned to their higher power in a time of struggle and felt like it was crickets, no response.
Carlee (05:10):
And that's why I ended up creating this series on the show. Now the series ended up morphing into, you know, what could it look like for you, which is really wonderful. We're really focused on being problem solvers here at the Stress Less Company. But I also wanted to dig into what do we do when we feel so disillusioned and so abandoned. So frustrated by spirituality, maybe we're at that point where the thought of going into a spiritual situation makes us want to throw up in our mouth. Like let's have a real conversation about that. That was me for 10 years. Didn't want to do it because I would get frustrated. I would get angry. I would say, this is a bunch of bullshit. Pardon my French.
Carlee (06:04):
And for a long time, I lived that way. And then I ended up starting the Stress Less Company. I was exploring everything that had worked for me up until that date. And I realized something really huge, that spirituality actually had a place in my life. And let me tell you, it's a huge place. I ended up really doing a lot of work to dig in and say, hey, what, what do I do with that? What do I do with this kind of traumatic experiences, feeling of being abandoned by something that was supposed to love me unconditionally care for me unconditionally. And so I, for me on my own spiritual journey started digging in and I started asking myself what didn't work about that? Why did that go so wrong? Why did I feel so abandoned? Why didn't God respond? What was not working about spirituality for me?
Carlee (07:07):
And I found a few answers like, Oh, I probably should have prayed for, you know, guidance, or education, or a change in shift in perception, right. Versus saying, hey God, take my night terrors away. Right. I was missing my part, but I also realized that for me, what didn't work now works differently for everybody. But for me, what didn't work was having a God that was vengeful or punishing. And I'm not saying that Christianity and the Christian God is that, but it's certainly what I thought God was that wasn't working for me. So I figured out all of these things that weren't working for me. And then I realized, hey, there's a lot of things that were going, right. And so I dug in, okay, what did work for me in terms of spirituality? What does work for me currently? Where do I feel most spiritually connected?
Carlee (08:08):
Well, I knew what worked for me is the idea that there was this higher power that was unconditionally loving. And I also knew that I felt most spiritually connected surrounded by plants and nature and under a big tree. I knew that I felt most spiritually connected when I was playing with my dog or gardening or having a really great conversation. I knew that I felt most spiritually connected in community with people who felt aligned, people who were kind and loving, and able to step in and hold space for me, but also hold space for themselves, right. It wasn't to their detriment.
Carlee (08:44):
And so I started developing this idea of what spirituality meant to me. And let me tell you, it was different than what everyone else said it should look like. And I say this to you with courage, because this is not something that I've ever spoken about publicly, but I've landed on a version of spirituality that looks very different. I call God the divine and my God is feminine. So when I refer to my God, I refer to her as a her and I refer to her as the divine and interchangeably the universe and interchangeably God and interchangeably, so many things. See she's fluid for me and there for me and holds space for me and reminds me that if I ever feel disconnected spiritually, it's because I placed worry in between us or I place guilt in between us or I placed this story that I made up in between us. And she's always there. It's just a matter of me removing the clouds to see the sun.
Carlee (09:59):
And that's just what worked for me. I have clients who, for them, what didn't work was having this ambiguous version of a higher power. What didn't work is feeling that there was no higher power and they've turned to Christianity and to religion, to what they were brought up with. Maybe they got away from it. And that really worked for them. And I have other clients who, you know, really aligned with the whole universe thing. And I have other clients who, you know, please, no, don't put me in that kind of spiritual woo. Like they're not there. And they follow, you know, what they believe their version of spirituality is just, I believe in the greater good at the end of the day. I believe people are truly, underneath everything, underneath the fear, underneath the guilt, underneath everything, that they are truly good people, I believe in the greater good.
Carlee (10:58):
And I have other clients, who their version of spirituality is purpose. Why are they here? And living that. And as we go through the rest of this month, I want you to think about that while listening to these episodes, what is it for you? What works for you? What doesn't work for you? What are you receiving from our guests on the show? And what are you saying, hey, this is definitely not my thing. I'm going to leave you with how we define spirituality here at the Stress Less Company, because I think it would be really helpful in terms of context moving forward. Now, the way we define spirituality at the Stress Less Company is this: spirituality is the undefined thing that leads us from a place of struggle, to a beautiful state of mind.
Carlee (11:48):
Again, spirituality is the undefined thing that leads us from a place of struggle, to a beautiful state of mind. For me, that is connection with the divine, the universe, nature, gardening, my dog, you guys, having a great conversation with you. For others, it's different. For you, it may be different. And I invite you to go through the rest of this series with an open mind and ask yourself what's working. What am I attracted to and what these guests are saying, and what am I totally turned off by? And from there, you can create your own version of spirituality, whatever it is that's going to serve you in stepping up, in leading, in really stepping into your divine, calling your divine purpose and making the world a better place. Because that's what it's all about. It's about helping, not only me, but you and everyone in this community find true emotional freedom, but really we're talking about world peace here.
Carlee (12:53):
Could you imagine what the world would look like if every single one of us found what worked for us? It'd be life-changing. Now, typically at this point of the show, I ask a question and right now I'm really genuinely curious about something specific. And I'm curious, what works for you in terms of spirituality? What does it mean for you? Where are you at with it? So many questions. Are you in that place where you're feeling resentful? Are you in that place where you're excited and you're content with what you believe? Are you in that place where you're just kind of spiritually curious? I want to know, let me know in the comments. And next go around, cause I am not done with this conversation, maybe I'll bring on a few guests that can help us deepen this conversation even more. Now, if you're feeling overworked and exhausted, if you're feeling stressed, if you feel like you're just having a hard time, I've got some good news.
Carlee (14:00):
The Stress Less Company works with high-achieving executives, business owners and managers, just like you to find that sense of peace and freedom that they desire. And as a result of our work together, they not only learn how to deepen their spiritual connection, whatever that looks like for them, but they also learn those tactical tools so that they can experience more free time, more efficiency, and yes, even more prosperity. It sounds pretty great, right? I know. I thought it did and I'm living it now. And so if you're feeling called, you can apply for a complimentary stress assessment today to start the conversation about working together. What you'll do is you'll visit stresslessco.com/apply, and you can check it out for more information. And of course you can submit your application at that link as well. Now this concludes this episode of the Stress Less Show. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you sat with me in my vulnerability as I shared it. And I really hope it resonated. Now, if you enjoyed this week's episode, if it resonated, could you let me know by giving it a big old thumbs up or hitting that follow or subscribe button, that would be huge for me. Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being there and please, of course share it if it resonated and we will see you next week on the Stress Less Show.