personal development

Stop Searching For Your One True Calling

I often see people put an overwhelming amount of pressure on themselves, struggling to answer one question: What is my one true calling? All the time, I talk with people who feel so lost in the confusion around finding that one perfect job or business idea that is going to finally make them happy and excited each day. We all have had that internal conversation with ourselves growing up about whether we should be an accountant or a fireman or any other job you can think of. Yet, as I was talking to my partner about a client, we got on the subject of soulmates and that’s when it hit me. So many of us have got this “finding your calling” thing all wrong. Finding your one true calling, just like finding your one true soulmate, is not how real life works.

As a society, we seem to have these beliefs that, written in our souls or our DNA, there’s this one true position or job out there for us to find in order to feel satisfied and there’s one true person for us to fall in love with. We all have that urge inside of us to seek out the fairytale ending - in love and in a career - where you find “the one” and the story ends happily ever after. However, I am a firm believer that we don’t just have one soulmate forever or one perfect job forever. I believe that you will find that you have a different soulmate or soul-career for different parts of your life.

In the span of your love life, you may have had your high school sweetheart, your whirlwind college romance, and so on. In your professional life, you might have had your high school babysitting job, followed by your first college internship and the entry-level position you landed right after graduating. All of the different jobs you have had intertwined in your history in order to help you learn more about yourself and why you are here on this planet, the same way you learn from all of your past relationships. I am not a relationship expert, so I won’t give out any advice on your love life. However, when it comes to your professional life, your task is not to find your one true calling for your life. Your only task is to find your calling for who you are at this moment. To do that, look for your purpose.

Your purpose and your calling often get used interchangeably, but I believe there is an important distinction. A calling is a job, a purpose is the reason you are on this earth. Your calling will change because it is a specific position, but your purpose is vague and will likely remain the same. For instance, my purpose is helping others and it led me to my current calling, starting Work You Love and helping hundreds of people find work that makes them happy. Your purpose may be using math to solve the world’s problems which could lead to a calling of being a NASA scientist or a financial analyst. The possibilities that exist within your purpose are endless.

So I challenge you to take the pressure of finding one true calling off of your shoulders and instead, think about your purpose. Think about what traits and skills you uniquely have that can contribute something to the world. Think about why you are on this earth. As you approach your career with your purpose in mind, all of the opportunities you have will lay themselves out in front of you for you to choose. Your choice is not predestined for you. You have free will to choose one calling today and another calling two years from now. We each have a path ahead of us that is made up of different callings and that is okay. It is okay if we shift to calling after calling, it’s okay if we stay in one calling for years. What isn’t okay is settling for a calling that goes against your purpose. That’s why you’re here on this earth, after all.

If you are having trouble figuring out your purpose or what career path is calling you right now, I will be giving a talk on “How to Find Work that Fills Your Wallet And Your Soul” next Thursday October 26th at 12 PM. Click here to sign up to attend.

You can also sign up for a complimentary clarity session with me here. Together, we will discuss where you’re at, where you’re going, what’s getting in the way and create a clear plan for you to find the work you love!

How to Find Your Inner Carrie

Do you know that autopilot feeling you can fall into in the mornings while you’re getting ready for the day? It is that mode that you switch into where you will washing your hands and brushing your teeth as your brain starts just think any thought it can come up with. Well, I recently found myself in autopilot one morning and my brain decided to think of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. I couldn’t help but laugh because Sex and the City is this heavily criticized, guilty pleasure TV show, and yet there I was in my bathroom thinking about how Carrie really had it all figured out! She created a financially successful career as a writer which not only filled her wallet, but it also filled her soul.

For as much heat as Sex and the City can get, there’s no denying the TV show has a huge fanbase and I think it has a lot to do with how Carrie really got it right in life. Every day I talk to people desperate to find a “work/life” balance. As a result, we’re compartmentalizing every aspect of our lives in ways that do not serve us. In Carrie’s life, there is no “work/life” balance she is searching for. For Carrie Bradshaw, her work is her life and her life is her work. She has found a fluidity within her life that makes so much more sense than trying to categorize every bit of her personality.

Carrie, like so many of us, is a multipotentialite. You can learn a lot more about what it means to be a multipotentialite by watching Emilie Wapnick’s TED talk on the subject, but a multipotentialite is a name for all of us out there who have more than one passion or interest in life. Carrie took her two interests - writing and sex - and combined them with her biggest asset - being a single woman living in New York City. All of these things led Carrie to a fulfilling career that boggled her mind, excited her and always kept her on her toes.

If you are trying to figure out what your calling is and you are a multipotentialite like Carrie, the key is to take a close look at all of your passions instead of trying to pick just one. Finding your perfect career is all about where those 2 or 3 (or even 5!) interests align. Those interest intersections are where innovation happens and where we find the work that fuels not only our wallets but also our souls. While I cannot vouch for her relationship advice, Carrie is a great example of how to reject the pressure to find a “work/life” balance and find a fluidity within the work that you do. There’s a reason why you were put on this planet with all of your unique interests, so why not figure out what that reason is.

If you feel as if you can’t seem to figure out how to combine your passions into your perfect career or if you don’t even know what your passions are, sign up for a complimentary clarity session with me HERE. Together, we will discuss where you’re at, where you’re going, what’s getting in the way and create a clear plan for you to embrace your inner Carrie Bradshaw and find the work you love!