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Carlee
Have you ever fallen into into the habit of comparing yourself to everyone else on social media? We've all been there. Hi, I'm Carlee Myers, your friendly stress management expert. And this month we're talking about time management and media overload. And I brought on an incredible guest, Robyn Graham, who is a brand marketing strategist, host of the Second Phase podcast and a headshot and branding photographer. Needless to say, she's very familiar with social media and and the causes and the things that it can cause and the great things that it can give to us. Right. Both sides of the spectrum. And so I'm really excited to have you on the show, Robyn, to really give us a unique perspective on how to handle this comparison game on social media.
Robyn
Thanks, Carlee. I'm really happy to be here.
Carlee
Absolutely. So I know this is your this is your very first time on the show. So for those of us who don't know you, I know you're pretty well known in the Philadelphia area. But for those of us who don't know you, how did you get into this line of work?
Robyn
Well, I decided to give up my career as, I have my doctorate in pharmacy, my degree and nine years ago, just because of family dynamics and different things, I decided to follow my passion and become a professional photographer. So I took a hobby and a passion and turned it into a business. At that point, I was working with a lot of clients in the branding sector, creating images for their websites, their social media posts and all of those things over the past nine years. And as I was working with them, I realized most people don't understand what it means to brand themselves. So I needed to use my mind and be strategic. So I took advantage of my knowledge and my ability to be strategic and started applying it into my business. And so now I mentor people on building a brand as well as producing those images for them. So I it's frequent that I do brand audits where we review the websites, social media and all of those things just to help them have a presence online that is going to help them connect with their ideal audience and get more clients.
Carlee
I love that. That's awesome. OK, so let's talk about then. Let's talk about. Well, first of all, I want to just share my definition of personal branding, specifically personal branding, because I'm curious to hear what your thoughts are on it. And my my definition, I forget where I heard it, but it's basically what people say when you're not in the room. What about you when you're not in the room?
Robyn
Yeah, that is definitely one of the definitions, because if you think about it, you're you're putting yourself out there so people can get to know you, like you and trust you. So you're building your online reputation or even your reputation and within the personal networking space or office building that you work in. So even as a corporate employee, you have a personal brand, but it's really differentiating yourself and helping yourself stand out or making yourself stand out amongst your peers or competitors.
Carlee
Yeah, OK. I love that. So, OK, so let's talk about when when we're comparing ourselves to someone else on social media. We're talking about curated feeds or what I think about is I always think about the like the women on the beach with the beautiful sky and the Caribbean Sea and like that's what comes to mind when I think about comparing, probably because I really would love to go and travel right now. And we're still in kind of a travel quarantine. But what do you recommend for people who are starting to fall into that comparison game? What do you recommend in terms of like leaving the alleviating the anxiety and the stress and just the comparison around?
Robyn
The first thing you want to do to help alleviate that is to make sure that you're creating your platform in a way that really represents you, that is going to connect with your ideal audience and you're putting value into all of the content that you're producing. So let's start with Instagram as an example. And this can apply for Facebook or Twitter as well, or even LinkedIn. You want to have a great profile picture and that profile picture should be the same picture that is on the home page or the about page of your website so that you are easily recognizable and memorable across all your platforms. That's going to build your confidence, too. And then just having a bio that immediately allows people to understand who you are and what you do, your I help statement immediately let people know exactly who you are and what you do. And that's going to help build confidence in yourself as well, that, you know, you're letting people know exactly what you do and how you can serve them. That's going to help you grow your connections. A lot of times that comparison sets in when we're thinking that we're not getting as many followers as so and so in our space or we're not posting as much as so-and-so in our space. And the reality is, as long as you're putting valuable content out. You're you're putting valuable content, it's educating, it's entertaining, it's inspiring your audience and you're building the know like and trust factor, you can think about yourself, your business without comparing yourself to others. What I like to do is I like to think about it as when that comparison starts to creep in. Number one think about the blessings that you have in your life, because chances are that other person you're comparing yourself to doesn't have those same blessings or anything, even as great as what you have. Everything on social media is a facade. You. People are putting their best foot forward for social media. So realize that your life is the most important thing and how you're living your life. So think about those blessings you have. Then think about the unique skills that you have. And every single one of us has a purpose, a calling, and we have unique skills to fulfill that. So keep those things in mind as well, because that will help you keep focused on the idea, your ideal audience, the people that only you can serve by the gifts that you have, then
Carlee
It's funny and I apologize for interrupting, but what I'm thinking about is like we're comparing to other people's blessings, other people's unique skills. And almost like if we take the approach, especially as business owners or if we're looking to transition into a new role, like thinking about like our feed should be showcasing gratitude, like gratitude for the blessings in our lives and gratitude for the unique skills that we have and the relationships we have or whatever we're grateful for. And in that space, if we're in that headspace, the comparison game falls, fall short because you're looking your feed is a showcase of everything that that you're blessed with.
Robyn
Exactly. And gratitude is such a core value that all of us should have that core value as part of our business.
Carlee
I love that. Oh, man. I got cold chills. I'm going to go back and talk to my marketing staff. I'm like, our feed is only going to be gratitude from here on out.
Robyn
The second thing is, if you earn... The third thing I guess I could mention is that if you start to compare yourself, take action on whatever you're comparing yourself with. If you see somebody doing something and you're feeling inadequate because you're not doing it, take action and start doing it.
Carlee
Yeah, because I feel like I used to say anger is a roadmap, but really, like any negative feeling can be a roadmap. Like if you get like, for instance, for me, maybe I need to go on a little vacation because when I see those images, I get a little jealous. Right. So that is a roadmap to how I could improve my life because I wouldn't have that response if there wasn't a need inside me to do something. I love that. OK, that's great. So redirect our thoughts towards action because inaction can cause stress and anxiety. And I think that's why I've said that to a lot of my clients over the years. Inaction can cause even more stress and anxiety.
Robyn
Yeah. And then in addition to taking action, learn, learn from what they're doing, take advantage of what they're putting out into the universe and absorb it and then apply it to your business.
Carlee
I love that. Yeah. It's like everything everything is a lesson. And actually, if we go back to that gratitude concept or perception, like, we can be grateful for their blessings because we can use them as teachings for for growth. So we can so we can obtain more so we can have more blessings. That's awesome. Awesome. So we want to know for the listeners, everyone who's listening right now, what are you receiving? What are you taking away from this and how are you going to shift your relationship with social media moving forward? So now I know that a lot of what you were saying, Robyn has, I guarantee you, has resonated with a lot of our listeners. So where can we find you if we want to continue the conversation?
Robyn
My my website, my social media tags, everything is at the Robyn Graham. So my website is w w w the Robyn Graham.com. You can find everything about me on my website, but then Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, everything is at the Robyn Graham perfect.
Carlee
And I love it like a good brander she's got it all all the same. Awesome. Now you're listening to this and you're kind of wondering, OK, well yeah I, I want to make some changes but I'm having trouble sticking to you know, making real good change for my mental health or for my stress management. And you need help me making the rubber meet the road. I've got great news for you. We actually have a thing called the virtual stress less space. And this is a self care accountability group that meets four times a month. And what we do is we help you make sure that you're moving on those self care goals. And we we actually sit together as a group and we get shit done. So you can learn more about that at stress less co dot com slash, virtual stress, less space. Now, this concludes this episode of the Stress Less Show. If you've enjoyed this week's episode, let us know by giving us a big old thumbs up and hitting that follow or subscribe button. Now, if this episode resonated with you, please share it, please share it, because I guarantee you that if it resonated with you, it's going to resonate with more people in your community. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week.