How to Find the Right Job for You [The Stress Less Show - Episode 78]

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Carlee

Do you ever feel stuck in a job that stresses you out but you're unsure of how to find one that doesn't? Hi, I'm Carlee Myers, your friendly stress management expert. And this month we are talking stress and work. And I brought on an amazing guest, Lisa Lewis. If there's a job out there, Lisa Lewis Miller has done it. Lisa is a career career change coach and the founder of Career Clarity, a company helping individuals find the work that fits them. She's also the author of a book by the same name, Career Clarity coming out in November. 2020. Welcome to the show.

Lisa

Thanks so much, Carly. It's a delight to be here. 

Carlee

Absolutely. So for those of us who don't know you, how did you get into this line of work?

Lisa

Well, I love getting to tell the story on The Stress Less Show, because one of the big things that prompted me to want to learn more about career and career fulfillment, and career growth, was that not only was I feeling stress in my current job, which back in the day when all this started, was in communications consulting and grassroots advocacy work in Washington, D.C. But I also felt a second layer of stress about where I wanted to go and not feeling like I could figure out exactly where I was driving this career train. I felt like I had a whole bunch of ideas and wonders and what ifs, but I felt almost paralyzed by the idea of just picking one of them and moving in that direction. So I felt like I was in this sort of stress paradox of I didn't love what I was doing. I felt like it wasn't giving me the lifestyle that I wanted and I didn't know where to go. And I was stuck in purgatory of I can't leave because I don't know where to go, but I can't stay because it doesn't feel good either.

Carlee

Oh, my gosh. I know that purgatory so well. Oh, my gosh. So, OK, so what do you recommend to people who maybe they're in that same scenario, they, they feel like, OK, your story is their reality. 

Lisa

Well, so I feel like we've got to pull the two parts of stress apart and deal with them separately, and there may be even is the third part of stress that we'll talk about, which is around actually executing on the job search piece, because there's a certain amount of stress of just figuring out what you want, but then figuring out how to go get it is a different endeavor. So when it comes to managing the different drivers of stress, I talk about this a lot more in the book. But I'll give you sort of the short and sweet version here. So when it comes to managing the stress around your current job, something that stress less listeners are going to be very familiar with if they listen to more than one episode is thinking about how to set appropriate boundaries with your existing job. What you need to feel healthy and sane and safe at work and asking for it is a rebellious act. Identifying it and asking for it feels like such a difficult thing to do, especially in this season of pandemic craziness that we're in right now, because I think everybody feels a little bit like their current work is teetering on the edge. You know, they're not sure if they're going to be another round of layoffs and if they're going to be included in that. They don't know what the future holds. And so we're feeling a lot of compulsion towards overwork and over-functioning and going above and beyond and essentially pushing ourselves towards burnout, out of the anxiety and fear that if we don't, we are going to be on the chopping block and we are going to be the next one to leave. And that fear is real. And if you're putting yourself into a situation that feels unsustainable and it's a place that you don't want to stay forever, sometimes being laid off or being let go can be a secret blessing in disguise. And if an organization isn't willing to accept the amount of work that you can give them with sane boundaries, right. So that you're not working 60, 70, 80 hour weeks, it's probably not a place that's going to be a long term fit for you anyways. But your skills and gifts and capabilities absolutely can translate to somewhere else. So be not afraid to think about what would actually make this work for me that I'm doing right now feel sustainable and then ask for it. Whether that is starting a little bit later in the morning, having a defined time at the end of the day where you were logging off and you're not answering any more emails, whether it is being able to take a half day or sneak out a couple hours early every other Friday just to have a little bit of mental health and peace and time to reset. All of those things are things that it's possible to ask for and to get that might make your current situation feel a little bit more sustainable and like there's a little bit more runway there.

Carlee

Yeah, I love that you share that. And for those of you who are thinking, OK, well, how the hell do I ask that? You can absolutely. And I'm sure we're going to talk about it a little bit more in this episode, but absolutely return back to Majet Reyes's episode on how to ask for what you need, because I think that is a great place to start. But let's let's continue on what else we got.

Lisa

Love that. So that sort of triage step with how to get yourself into a livable situation with your current job. Right. Because frankly, if they let you go because you're underperforming, they probably have to give you severance. You're available for unemployment. There actually might be some real benefits for that. And if you were thinking about leaving anyways, getting a push out the door that comes with an exit package is not the worst. But let's talk about question number two on how the heck do I figure out where I want to go? So if you're staring at indeed or LinkedIn or whatever the job search site is and feeling like you are scrolling through hundreds of job postings every single day and you're not seeing anything that appeals to you. My first piece of guidance, my first tip for you is stop. When we go on to indeed or LinkedIn or whatever the job search site might be, our anxiety tends to take the wheel and make us feel like we're being productive by continuing to look and search through things over and over and over again. But ultimately, oftentimes, you're making yourself go cross-eyed and bleary eyed with all the different things that you've looked at. And you're not ending this work feeling like you have clarity and focus on what you should do next other than going through if you're feeling like you have no idea what you want to do next. Figuring out how to find a framework that can help you get clear is a huge next step to help translate some of that stress into actually more productive, helpful forward feeling emotions. And like I mentioned in my book about career change, I talk a lot about what we call the four pillars of career fulfillment, which are the four biggest drivers of feeling satisfied and happy in your work. So if nothing else, you can start with trying to map out for yourself what your four pillars of career fulfillment are and the four pillars that you can look for your unique needs within our number one strengths and gifts and doing work that feels energizing and naturally motivating. Number two, your magnetic interests, so the specific types of problems that you like to solve, because everybody likes to help people, but the type of people that you like to help and the type of ways you like to help them are going to be unique to you. Pillar number three is on your lifestyle or sorry on your personality, which means finding the sort of organizational culture, boss, teammates, et cetera, that match up with who you are and the way that you're naturally wired. So you feel like you can bring your whole self to work and you don't have to play small or hide your opinions. And then thing number four is lifestyle. So finding an organization and finding a role that fits into your life with the compensation, the benefits and the flexibility that feel really good for you. So using a framework like that can be an incredibly easy way to take the feeling of anxiety or swirling or wondering and translating it into something that's much more tactical and practical or mapping out what could be next or brainstorming what could be next. And 

Carlee

I love that. So remind us again, because I think everybody is probably rushing to to the Internet to try to find your book because they want more details on those pillars and how the heck do I get clarity and and all of these details. So can you tell us a little bit more about what your what is your book called again? Where can we find it? All of that.

Lisa

Totally. So if you are wanting more support with managing the stress on the figuring out where you're going side and how do you actually land that job side, I would be delighted if you would want to check out the book. It's called Career Clarity. It comes out on November 17th. But if you want to get access to preorders and some fabulous goodies for people who are picking up the book early, you can head to get career clarity dot com slash book. And there you'll have information on how to get your hands on a copy, how to get all the preorder bonuses, including motivational backgrounds for your media so that you can stay focused, including a challenge to help you get clear on what you want. All sorts of great things, because my I'm a woman obsessed with helping people have a happier, healthier relationship with their work. And so my mission is to give you the tools, the resources and the frameworks to make that as operational and as easy for you as possible.

Carlee

Love it, so make sure that you find the link in the show notes to that to get all of the amazing not only the book, but all of those amazing resources. Now, for those of you who are listening, we want to know what stage in this whole process are you in right now? Are you overwhelmed by the job search of going through hundreds and hundreds of listings a day? Are you not sure where you want to go? Are you feeling pretty good? Let us know in the comments below. Now if you are feeling overworked and exhausted. I've got some pretty good news for you. And it's The Stress Less company works with high achieving CEOs, business owners and managers just like you to find that sense of peace and freedom that they desire. And as a result of our work together, they learn how to properly manage their time, their tasks and their energy so that they can experience more free time, efficiency. And yes, even prosperity. Sounds pretty great, right? Well, you can apply for a complimentary stress, less clarity session with yours truly today to start the conversation about working together, visit Stressless CO dot COM, apply for more information. Now, that concludes this episode of the show. And I want to give Lisa one last big, amazing shout out. Thank you so, so much for coming on the show. 

Lisa

It has been my pleasure, Carlee, if this helps even one person feel like they're managing their stress differently around work, we've done our job well.

Carlee

Awesome. So if you've enjoyed this week's episode, let us know by giving us a big old thumbs up and hitting that follow or subscribe button. Thanks for listening, share if it resonated. And we will see you next week. Bye!