On the go? Listen to The Stress Less Show as a Podcast!
Read the blog post version of this episode by clicking this link!
Carlee
Everyone says we should be leaders, but have you ever heard of self-leadership? Hi, I'm Carlee Myers, your friendly stress management expert. And this month we're talking about work and stress. And I brought on an incredible expert, Camille McKinney. Camille is a leadership coach and consultant at Leverage Leaders, where she helps women get out of their own way so that they can show up as the leader they were meant to be in all areas of their lives. Studies show that as many as 70 percent of women don't have a career plan and about 40 percent of women are simply winging it. Today, Camille will share a simple leadership philosophy that you can use as a roadmap to a life and career by your design. Welcome to the show, Camille.
Camille
Thank you, Carlee. Appreciate you having me today.
Carlee
Absolutely. Absolutely. So for those of us that don't know who you are, what your background is, how did you end up doing this work that you do today?
Camille
Oh, wow. So my background in corporate for about twenty five years was in learning and development, and so there was one thing I noticed as I was doing that work was that there was a there was a gap in what we were offering. And that really was around coaching. You throw people in a classroom and you teach them how to delegate or all of the different skills that leaders need to have and set them loose and just kind of hope that. That all comes together and often it doesn't. I can teach someone all day long how to delegate, but if we don't get to the bottom of why they hang on to the tasks, we're never going to be successful. So coaching was kind of a new idea as I worked through as the learning and development professional. But it was something that I was really intrigued by, so. Thankfully, I had a boss that was really open to development and she sent me to get trained and the rest is history. And leadership has always been a passion of mine because I believe that's where a team's success starts, is through their leader. So
Carlee
One hundred percent
Camille
That pretty much sums it up.
Carlee
Yeah, I was gonna say, one hundred percent. You know, I remember you sharing. You know, I love that you're coming on the show to talk about this because you've been there, done that like we were talking before the show about how your career really stalled because you couldn't understand why you weren't getting promotions or why like your your. You're feeling like your work should speak for itself, but it wasn't and why why was that the case? And so I'm excited to have you on the show to just give us some tips on how we can how we can explore self leadership for ourselves as someone who's been there.
Camille
Yeah, so that's that's exactly true, I think for me, as my career progressed, you know, I had this belief system that if I work really hard, if I have high performance review scores, if I really work hard, I'll get I'll be rewarded. I'll get those promotions. I'll be seen as the person who needs to have that role. And that just wasn't happening. It's kind of like the paradox of the high performer in the workplace. And after I left corporate, after experiencing that frustration and left corporate and started my own coaching practice and really reflected back. I could see how I was in my own way, you know, all of the work I was doing, all of the great work I was doing. I was firmly in my comfort zone, the stuff I was really good at. And I noticed how I wouldn't extend myself beyond that comfort zone. The walls of our comfort zone are kind of prickly. They hurt a little when we bump up against them. And so are we willing to be a little uncomfortable? And really go beyond and so that was something that really intrigued me and the thought of that. And so I kind of noticed how a lot of my desire to be that high performer and really comfortable kind of continued into my own business. I thought, this isn't working. This just isn't working. So I think for me, that has really been kind of key in recognizing that I was in my own way. Absolutely in my own way.
Carlee
I feel like. So hindsight's 20 20, right? It's always-
Camille
Totally
Carlee
We learn from looking back. And so I'm curious, you know, what are your tips for someone who maybe feels like they're stuck right now and they are not progressing in their career or even their business where they want to be? They can't figure out why. I feel like the answer is self leadership. And so how do we what's the first step that we take?
Camille
Absolutely, so you're right, self leadership, I do believe it starts from the inside out. We need to explore who we are and what we're bringing and so, again, in my reflection, I could see wait a second. I'm just willing to kind of continue doing the work that I'm doing. And as you mentioned, and my work should speak for itself, darn it, that should be enough. And it just wasn't. So for me, self leadership is that is the idea of who am I? How am I showing up as a leader? Am I willing to experience that discomfort? Have a little, you know, take some risks. And so I developed this self leadership model, which has six key components to it, and there is the order that they are for a reason. The first one is self awareness. Moving on then to self-knowledge. The third is self acceptance, the fourth is self regard, that's where confidence comes into play, the next is self care. This is where we learn to set boundaries and advocate for ourselves and then finally, self less, which is how we expand what we've how we've grown ourselves with others. So I say we've got to start there. We have to start with looking at our own self leadership and how we're showing up. So that's what
Carlee
I was going to say. We can't change anything if we're not aware of it. Right?
Camille
Correct. That it has to start with self awareness. Absolutely. Wait a second. What was that emotion or that fear I just experienced? What is that about? It's that willingness to be curious about ourselves. What do we learn about ourselves through that?
Carlee
Yeah, OK, so we have this self awareness. What's next?
Camille
So I would say we need to start moving ourselves to the top of the list. As women, we have a habit. I'm going to call it a habit of putting everybody else first. And there's there's that sense of martyrdom that we if I put everybody else first, everybody else is OK, then I will be OK. And when it comes to our careers, we need to rethink that strategy. So I would say learn to start putting yourself first. Learn to ask for investment in your development. Be willing to say, hey, look, this is something I'm really interested in doing. Is the organization willing to support me? And this go out and look for sponsors, be willing to put yourself out there and you don't have to. This is not zero to 60. This is you can take baby steps. What are you comfortable with? That's perfectly fine as well. The idea is that you have constant forward movement.
Carlee
I love that. And, you know, it's bringing to mind for me my own my own career path. Back when I was working, I worked in the nonprofit world, my nine to five. And for me, it started moving myself to the top of the list, started with saying no to things that I just couldn't fit on to my to do list. And my boss would be like, can you get this to me by the end of the week? And I already had sixty seven tasks to do. And I had my moving myself up with saying, honestly, I, I there's no way in hell it's not possible, whereas in the past I might have said, oh sure anything right. And that it can be as small as just saying no to something like that or as big as saying I want 20 K raise. Right. But whatever it is, moving yourself to the top of the list, I think I love that tip. So I you know, we talked before the show. I want to make sure we get it in. I know we're wrapping things up, but what's your last tip? Because I think it's so important.
Camille
So the last tip is to really learn to trust others, to do their genius work. We can't do it all ourselves and we shouldn't. And what that requires is that when we trust others, they are able to show up as their best selves. I think that's a key component to leadership and that's part of the work we do as we're developing our self leadership. My experience was when I learned to trust myself, it was easier for me to trust others.
Carlee
Yeah, yeah. One hundred percent. I love that. And I think that is one of the keys to living a stress less life is to just be able to trust others to show up and do what they said that they're going to do. And I love it. So where can we find you, Camille?
Camille
Well, on my website is leveraged leaders dot com. So please visit. One of the things I offer on my website is an opt in to get an exercise exercise called identifying your core values. So when you land on the home page, check that out. I think it's a great way to build the second element of the self leadership model, which is self knowledge. So definitely check that out. And of course, I'm on Facebook and LinkedIn as well.
Carlee
Perfect. So definitely check out those links in the show notes. And we want to know in the comments below, where should you be moving? Where do you want to move yourself up to the top of your list? Let us know in the comments below. Now, if you're feeling overworked and exhausted, we've got some great news for you. The Stress Less company works with high achieving CEOs, business owners and managers just like you to find that sense of peace and freedom that they desire. And as a result of our work together, they learn how to properly manage their time, tasks and energy so that they can experience more free time, efficiency. And yes, even prosperity sounds pretty great, right? Well, you can apply for a complimentary stress, less clarity session today to start the conversation about working together with yours truly. Visit stress. Lesco dotcom slash apply for more information. Now, this concludes this episode of the Stressless show. I want to give one last big shout out to Camille. Thank you so, so much for coming on the show today.
Camille
My pleasure. Thanks for having me.
Carlee
Absolutely. So if you've enjoyed this week's episode, let us know by giving us a big thumbs up and hitting that follow or subscribe button. Thanks for listening, share if it resonated and we will see you next week bye.