Allowing Yourself To Ask For Support In Business [The Stress Less Show - Episode 106]

On the go? Listen to The Stress Less Show as a Podcast!

Read the blog post version of this episode here!

Carlee (00:01):

Is your inner voice telling you that you're weak or that there's something wrong with you? If so, you're absolutely not alone. And you are most definitely in the right place. Hi, I'm Carlee Myers, founder and leader here at the Stress Less Company where we help leaders who are overworked and exhausted find that sense of peace and freedom that they desire. And this month on The Stress Less Show, we're going to be talking about how to thrive in business during these exceptional times. And I brought on an incredible friend and guest Shulamit Ber Levtov, I I'm so excited I got that right. Um, and she is a mindset consultant who uses her background as a licensed trauma therapist to help women entrepreneurs stay sane as they ride the stressful rollercoaster of running a business. Welcome to the show.


Shulamit (00:56):

Thanks, Carlee.


Carlee (00:58):

Absolutely. I have to say I was so, so excited to have you on the show as the first time we met, I think we had trouble hanging up the zoom, the zoom call, if you will, uh, we could talk for hours. Um, but I wanted to have you on the show because I know that you have a really unique perspective, especially when we're talking about how to thrive during these exceptional times. And so if we are some of, one of those people like listening and there's someone listening into this and their, their inner voice is telling us, or telling them that they're weak or that there's something wrong with him in the context of, you know, how to thrive during these exceptional times, what do you, what do you recommend?


Shulamit (01:46):

Well, the first thing I would invite listeners in this moment to envision, you know, when there are like new housing developments and they have those little bitty trees and those little trees have help, they have the, the wires that come up in the rubber ring around the little tree, right? The tree has been planted. Its root ball is firmly in the ground. It's not going to blow over. It's a strong little tree, but that little tree in order to be a big tree has that support there so that it can be strong enough to grow. And so right away when you're thinking, Oh my gosh, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm weak, I'm breaking down. I'm I have to do it on my own, but I can't, if you can imagine that little tree and how everybody has seen the house, uh, suburbs grow, right? And you go back in 10 years and those trees are huge, right? That you can imagine that and envision the truth. That you're really stronger with support that anything that's having a hard time is stronger with support, right? Wells are stronger with support. Dams are stronger with support and people are stronger with support. And I think the very first thing in terms of thriving is to be kind to yourself and to validate yourself and say, it's okay for me to ask for help. I, it will make me stronger to do so.


Carlee (03:24):

Yeah. Cause I feel like we were talking about this before we hit the record button, but it, you know, we oftentimes there's this, like, I don't know if it's societal or if it's passed down from, I don't know. We're not going to get into that I guess, but there's this voice that, that tells us that if we ask for help that we're weak or that something's wrong with us or, um, I don't know where that came from, but it, to me seems like it's not, not very supportive.


Shulamit (03:49):

It isn't supportive. Well, we live in a world, right? That's a competitively oriented world. And for some of us, I don't know how this relates to you, Carlee, but certainly for me, my, uh, adverse experiences in childhood taught me that it was not safe to ask for help that when I asked for help, um, you know, the consequences of the help I received were not really beneficial. And so as an adult, I had to do some mindset, work around asking for help and being willing to receive help and to really, um, choose where I asked for help. Well, that's, I think a really important thing is to be wise about where and how you ask for help, but then when you do that, well, you come to understand like how much stronger you are with that experience of support behind you.


Carlee (04:37):

Yeah. Actually that's such a good point, um, about being really clear about where is, uh, and I may be reading between the lines here, but where is a good place to ask for help or who is a good person to ask for help? Um, you know, one of the things that you may hear me say over and over again is, you know, the definition of insanity is continually showing up and doing the same thing and expecting different results. And, um, I think the same thing goes for our support systems. If we go to the person that we know is just not capable. Yeah. Support. But yeah, no, that makes total sense in terms of, you know, adverse childhood experiences. I, you know, my journey to where I'm at today, I, you know, a lot of folks know my story, but the short of it is that I was struggling with my own stuff and I opened up and I asked people for advice and I got the worst possible advice and it didn't help. And so that then began the process of, of not wanting to ask for help and rewiring that.


Shulamit (05:40):

Yeah. And that you touched on something else about people thinking that there's something wrong with them. Uh, and this relates to both of our experiences too. You know, um, people under really extreme conditions will break down and then blame themselves. And I will frequently say, uh, your what's happening with you. This in quotation marks, breaking down is a normal response to an abnormal situation. What's abnormal is what's happening to you. What's normal is how you're responding because our bodies are designed to give us feedback. And so when they in quotation marks break down, that's actually good news because if you start to think about it, like if you cut yourself with a knife and didn't bleed, when you think that was weird, like what the heck, right? Your blood is coming to help heal the hurt. And in the same way, the symptoms are coming to things that are the quote unquote breaking down is coming to let us know that we need to attend to ourselves so that we can be sustainable and be strong and carry forward. So breaking down is, is good news really? I mean, it sucks, right? Not fun, but it's good news because it gives us an opportunity to turn toward ourselves and care for ourselves. And that's so important in times of stress.


Carlee (06:58):

Yeah. A hundred percent. It's funny. It reminds me of a TikTok video. I recently saw, um, very similar concept. This guy was talking about how, um, it's just stimulus and it's just the pain response. And so he was talking about how, you know, you can put w you know, when you were a kid, you put your hand on the stove, it, you know, it burned you. And you're like, Oh, okay. Not doing that again. Or, uh, you know, whatever, you know, different scenarios. And he was like, and when I was a kid, there was a situation that would make me sad or angry or upset. And I was told that that response was unreasonable. And he was like, what if that emotional response was the same pain response that was telling me, maybe remove myself from the situation or, or adjust the situation because it's not working for me, but I was taught by society to rewire that. And that thought about broke my brain. So I was like, Oh my gosh, it's so in so many circumstances, that's so true. It's just, uh, um, a response it's telling you that, Hey, something's off here. We need to do something here.


Shulamit (07:58):

Yeah. It's data it's feedback. It's like the check engine light on the dashboard. Yeah.


Carlee (08:04):

Oh, I love that. So, you know, if there's, I guess, you know, really for those of you who are listening, if you're experiencing that data, that feedback there, then it makes us stronger when we ask for support. Right? This is, uh, I would say, this is probably for me when I was going, when I was going through some of this stuff. And even now I'm taking that data and saying, Hey, what can I do differently? And how can, how can I lean on my support system has made a huge difference.


Shulamit (08:34):

Yeah. I'm 100% where I am today because of the support I received.


Carlee (08:37):

Yeah. Hands on. Which mic dropped. I think we're done with this episode. No, but we're curious, you know, for those of you who are listening, what is your support system look like right now for you? Like, what does it look like? What does consist of, uh, we would love to know, and if you're feeling overworked and exhausted, I've got some good news. The Stress Less Company works with high-achieving executives, business owners, and managers, just like you to find that sense of peace and freedom that they desire. And as a result of our work together, not only do they learn how to deepen their spiritual connection, but they also learn those tactical tools that they can experience more free, time, more efficiency, and yes, even more prosperity. It sounds pretty great, right? Well, you can apply for a complimentary stress assessment today to start the conversation about working, working together, simply visit stresslessco.com/apply for more information and to apply again, stresslessco.com/apply.


Carlee (09:32):

Now, this concludes this week's episode of the Stress Less Show. And I want to give one last big shout out to Shula. Thank you so much for coming on.


Shulamit (09:42):

Thanks Carlee.


Carlee (09:43):

Absolutely. And if you're curious about Shula and the work that she does, and you want to get to know her a little bit better, make sure to check out the links in the description. You're not going to want to miss all that she has to offer. Now, if you've enjoyed this week's episode, let us know by giving us a review subscribing, or if you're listening on social by liking commenting, and of course sharing, thanks for listening. And we will see you next week.