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Carlee (00:01):
Are you a parent or guardian struggling to navigate the world about home learning, let alone pandemic parenting. If so, you're absolutely in the right place and you are definitely not alone. Hi, I'm Carlee Myers, your friendly stress management expert. And I'm the founder and leader here at the Stress Less Company where we help female leaders who are overworked and exhausted find that sense of peace and freedom that they desire. Now this month on the stress less show, we're going to be talking about at home learning and pandemic parenting. And in this episode, we're going to be talking about what to do when things feel completely outside of our control. Now I'm doing this episode solo because I think it's a great way to set off this theme or this series of podcast interviews. And the next few weeks, we have incredible guests such as Dr. Steven Green from Make the Grade.
Carlee (00:53):
He'll talk about how to navigate at home learning and education. During this time, we also have Kimberly Keane who is going to be talking about how to connect with your kids on an emotional level, as well as another really incredible guest. But today we're going to be talking and focusing on what to do when things feel out of control. So that we're really prepped to receive the incredible, valuable information that our upcoming guests have to share with each of you.
Carlee (01:22):
So what do we do when things feel out of control? I guess we should preface it by asking the question, what has really been outside of our control in recent time. So we have this thing with parents and having that experience with, as a parent, that whatever our kids do, whatever, whatever other people do in our lives, it's, it's always, it's always outside of our control, right?
Carlee (01:49):
We cannot control the internal thinking of another being. We cannot control that other beings' actions. That includes our kids, our spouses, our colleagues. I mean, this, this lesson, this thought, this process can really apply to every, every area of our lives. We can't control other people. One thing that I've also been hearing is that it's been really difficult with all of the policy changes. One week, the kids are at home the next week the kids are at school. It's been really hard to navigate at home learning along with full-time jobs or businesses. Um, especially as female leaders, we've got other, other priorities outside of being a mom, even though being a mom is an incredible priority.
Carlee (02:39):
So there's a lot that outside of our control, right? Policy changes. What's happening with the kids? Are they at school? Are they at home? What's going on with the at-home learning? What's going to change in terms of software dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And then we have this other piece, which is just part of normal life, which is the fact that we just can't control how other people act. We can't control how other people think. And it really gets kind of wishy-washy when it comes to being a parent, right? We are in some ways molding and shaping our children. But for the context of this conversation, I ask that you humor me in putting that into this category. The thought that other people, the way other people act, the way other people think, is outside of our control. And that includes our kids.
Carlee (03:17):
So what do we do when we feel so out of control? When we feel like our kids have lost their minds, or we're not on the same wavelength or goodness gracious, could they just make up their minds in terms of schooling?
Carlee (03:34):
That's exactly what I want to talk about. Now, when I founded the Stress Less Company, I saw that there was a real need for navigating the uncontrollable. It's actually what kind of contains or what takes up most of our brain power, every single day. A lot of female leaders, a lot of leaders in general, who find themselves stressed or overworked or exhausted, when we do a real inventory, a real check-in, we find that there's a lot that's on their mind that they have no control over.
Carlee (04:06):
And so I ended up developing this thing called the Stress Less Method. And the Stress Less Method is my signature seven step unique methodology that every single one of my clients goes through. Now, the first step of this system is all about letting go of what is outside of our control so that we can create more space for what is inside our control.
Carlee (04:32):
What is within our control. Now I'm going to tell you exactly what this step is, but I want you to promise to keep an open mind, because my guess is it's not going to be what you were thinking it was going to be right. What's your thinking it's going to be. So the very first step in the Stress Less Method, my signature unique methodology is number one, deepening your spiritual understanding. Deepening your spiritual understanding. What the heck does that mean? Basically, deepening your spiritual understanding means figuring out what spirituality means to you and how it really connects to you. Now, the reason that this is so freaking important is because when we don't have something greater than ourselves, we have nowhere to place the worries surrounding what's outside of our control. I don't know about you guys, but for me, the former version of myself, if I went, when I didn't consider myself to be spiritual or religious or have something to lean on, and if you want more context of my spiritual journey, you can check out a former episode where I share really in depth what my experience was.
Carlee (05:51):
But when I didn't have that, it was so hard for me to let go. What do you mean? Just stop worrying about this. Are you kidding? Who's going to talk like, who's going to keep tabs on this. What if this happens? What if the world falls apart? What if this client does that? Right? What if, what if, what if, what if. Uh uh, I'm not letting it go, are you insane? Right? That was my thinking. And the reason it was so hard to let go of worrying about things that were outside of my control is because I genuinely believed that if I stopped worrying about those things, that things would fall to shit, that things would fall apart, that my worst nightmares would come true.
Carlee (06:38):
So that makes it incredibly difficult. When you live from a place of fear that shits going to hit the fan to let go of something. It makes total sense. It's survival at that point. But the step is incredibly important because it makes letting go of things that are outside of our control, worries, so much easier. Because when we're able to hand something off that's outside of our control to a power greater than ourselves, it's not just letting it go out into the wind and floating off into the distance until hits the fan. No, it's handing it off to something that you truly believe can handle this, can work this out for you. A power greater than yourself.
Carlee (07:26):
So for you, it may be God. For you, it may be universe. For you, you're like get me the heck away from that terminology. It may just be a sense that the world is good at the end of the day, and things will work out. Um, it may be a sense of higher self. You may call it the divine, mother nature. You may call it an old shoe. It doesn't really matter what it is. As long as you have a power greater than yourself to hand this thing off to. The key is, is that you believe that that thing can handle it. So for instance, when we're talking about at home learning or pandemic parenting, when we're struggling with all of the policy changes, rather than continually worrying, we can say, Hey universe, Hey divine, Hey God, whatever it is that you believe, or you come to belief, you can say, Hey, this, I really have no control over. This is the policymakers stuff. I'm not a policymaker. I'm not a politician. I'm not in any of these categories that has any power over this. I'm going to hand this off to you. And I'm going to trust that you will do the thing that is best for everyone involved.
Carlee (08:40):
And then handing that off, what it does is it creates a ton of space for you and it creates space for you to say, Hey, what's in my control? Really truly what's in my control in this scenario? Well, maybe you have a particular, um, you have, you have time to then say, well, I'm letting this power greater than myself, handle this. So I now have time to prepare for either solution. I now have time to call up family and friends to see if they can take time off, to help the kids so that I don't lose all my time off, or I have time to set up at our house or our home or our apartment or our living situation so that my kids have a good environment to learn in. I now have the mental space, the mental capacity to also be able to send them to school prepared so that they can be at school safe.
Carlee (09:33):
They can feel seen. They can, they can really function as the best version of themselves at school. And so what that does is it creates space for you to rise to the occasion, either one. You're okay, either way. You've done the stuff that's within your control. Now you might take that a step further, depending on how much mental space it creates for you. And you might start emailing the folks who were in charge of these policies, right? To persuade one way or the other. But regardless, we're handing off the worry, the things that, that that's outside of our control, the thing we can't do anything about. And so what that does is it empowers us to make real change, to take real action that can really transform our lives. So I encourage you listening to this episode to start exploring what does spirituality mean to you really, truly, what do you believe?
Carlee (10:25):
Or if that's too difficult of a question, I know that was a difficult question for me.
Carlee (10:30):
[Dog barking in the background] Oh, my dog is so excited.
Carlee (10:34):
That was a really difficult question for me to ask. What does spirituality mean to me? What are you talking about? Right. Well, the question that I started with was what does it not mean? What doesn't work for me spiritually? Start exploring those questions and even start exploring what that handoff might look like for you. So I encourage you to let us know in the comments below, what does spirituality look like or not look like for you?
Carlee (11:05):
Now, if you're feeling overworked and exhausted, I've got great news. The Stress Less Company works with high-achieving executives, business owners, and managers, just like you to find that sense of peace and freedom that they desire. And as a result of our work together, they not only learn how to deepen their spiritual connection, they also learn the tactical tools that they need so that they can experience more free time, more efficiency and more prosperity. Sounds pretty great, right? Well, you can apply for a complimentary stress assessment today to start the conversation about working, working together, simply visit stresslessco.com/apply for more information and to of course, apply. Stresslessco.com/apply.
Carlee (11:50):
Now this concludes this episode of the Stress Less Show. If you've enjoyed this week's episode, let me know by leaving us a review, subscribing, or if you're listening to this on social, by liking commenting, and of course sharing, thanks for listening. And we will see you next week.