Happy Hustler Lauren Ramer

TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOU.

I am graduate of Moore College Design and a Motion Graphics Designer at Aardvark Video Works. I live in a cute, tiny house in Glendora, NJ with the love of my life and my dog Smooch.

TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR HUSTLE AND YOUR HAPPINESS JOURNEY.

I remember telling myself exactly a year ago (during senior thesis, four part-time jobs, and endless college stress) that it would all get easier and work itself out eventually. And believe it or not, IT DID!

A year later and officially a college graduate, everything started to fall into place. Before graduation, I was a full-time student working four part-time jobs. I was a painting instructor, a wedding videographer, an art department assistant at a stationery company, and a graphic artist at PHL17. I was CONSTANTLY busy... but I knew that it would eventually help me towards my career. One motto that I always tell myself is "jump on EVERY opportunity" because you never know where it could take you. So anyways, after being so unbelievably busy, before I knew it I was sitting at graduation and college was over. Even though it was a bit scary not knowing what was to come, I knew that if I kept pushing and trying to find opportunity ... eventually, I would start my career.

A few months went by and I was still working my four jobs until I soon found myself at in interview for a Motion Graphics interview. Before I knew it, I had my first full-time job - and I was so incredibly excited. Not only did all that hard work pay off, but it landed me at an absolutely amazing company. I am now a Motion Graphics Designer at Aardvark Video Works where I combine my knowledge of animation, videography, editing, graphic design, and more to produce commercials and animations. I've gotten to work on some incredible projects ranging from Toyota and Fiat spots, to local bakery commercials, to corporate web videos.  And strangely enough, all those part time jobs I worked gave me the crucial knowledge I needed, that I use at my job now. I wouldn't be where I am if I didn't take the initiative in college to pursue numerous internships, jobs, and opportunities. 

WHAT DO YOU DO TO DE-STRESS AFTER OR DURING A LONG, STRESSFUL DAY?

After a long day, I like to simply come home, cook dinner, and snuggle on the couch with my dog and watch movies. Or if I really need an escape, I will get lost in some knitting. 

WHERE DO YOU GO FOR INSPIRATION?

I find inspiration absolutely everywhere.. but it usually consists of movies. If I need inspiration, I'll put on a weird independent film or throw on one of my favorites like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. 

WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING OR LISTENING TO (PODCASTS, BOOKS, BLOGS, ETC.)?

Recently, the only time I listen to music is on my 1.5 hour commute to work each way. At that time I just listen to the same few artists that get me through my day. The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Die Antwoord, Miley Cyrus, and more. As for reading, since JK Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child" came out ... and the hype over the new "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" film, I've been re-reading the Harry Potter series getting all excited! 

WHAT IS ONE PIECE OF ADVICE YOU'D GIVE TO SOMEONE JUST STARTING THEIR HAPPY HUSTLE JOURNEY?

I said this already but it's so important! *Jump on EVERY opportunity - you never know where it's going to take you. 

I would never be where I am now if I didn't hop on every opportunity I came across. Not all opportunities are the most alluring or fun... but it can always lead to something more. Even if something presents itself to you that you are unsure of... TRY IT... the worst thing that happens is that you learn from it. 

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE QUOTES OR WORDS TO LIVE BY?

"Divide and Conquer" - Words that my mom alway said to me when I got stressed. Divide up your workload and conquer what you can. Take it step by step and before you know it, you will have conquered. This phrase basically got me through college. 

IN ONE WORD, SUM UP YOUR LIFE AS A HAPPY HUSTLER.

Delightful

 

WHAT ARE THE THREE CORE VALUES OF YOUR HUSTLE AND HOW DO THOSE VALUES RELATE TO YOUR HAPPINESS?

Three core values I stand by are:

1. Determination

2. Enjoyment

3. Prioritization

These three things are very valuable to me in life. I find that a proper balance of determination and enjoyment will lead to a happy and successful life. You need to have goals, and you need to pursue them... but you also want to make sure that you are enjoying yourself and life. Even if you are the most determined person in the world, if you are not enjoying yourself, it's not worth it. That brings me to my next value: prioritize. Having a full-time job, a house, a family, hobbies, and whatever else you can throw into that mix... can make you feel like you don't have time to do anything anymore. But you need to get your priorities situated so they fit into your balance of determination and enjoyment. Balance it out so you are spending some of your day working towards your goals, and other times doing things you enjoy.. this will lead to feeling accomplished and happy in all areas of your life. 

CONNECT WITH LAUREN

Website //  Facebook //  Instagram // Twitter

Happy Hustler S.E. Tyler

Tell us a little bit about your hustle and your happiness journey.

Right now I am working as a social media designer and outreach coordinator for AIDS Fund Philly by day. It's meaningful work being able to help the 19,500+ people living with HIV in the Philly region improve their quality of life. I consider myself as an advocate for the LGBTQ community and it is a blessing to be able to carry this passion into my professional work.  By night you can find me howling at a full moon and teaching painting classes at Painting With a Twist in Haddonfield, New Jersey. My work can feel like a heavy burden, but when I stop to think of all that I have accomplished it makes me excited to the next chapter of my journey.

When I think of how this all began, my mind is taken back to the 3rd grade when I first started to write stories that were accompanied by my drawings. By the time I reached 12, I would be staying up past hours to draw on printer paper in my bed, eraser shavings falling in between my bed sheets. The next day I would walk into the lunchroom excited to share my comics and cartoon strips with my friends. At 13 I vowed that I would attend an art college, admittedly I was torn between a career in visual arts and a life as a musical theater performer.

Fast forward 8 years to my Sophomore year of art school and you would have found me still awake past the strike of midnight, furiously working on my next piece for critiques. This became a common practice, working all night and then finding 2 hours to nap before it was time to make the commute into the city. Art school was my childhood dream. I kept pushing myself harder and harder until the very end. After I graduated, I spent a good half hour staring at the honor cords I had earned from my four years as an Emerging Leader of the Arts Scholar. In that moment I finally released all the feelings from the stress and anxiety of the past four years with tears streaming down my face.

Up until that point I had viewed my life as a series of hurdles I had to jump in order to reach happiness. I will be happy once I am a great painter, I will be happy once I complete my thesis, I will be happy once I land that art job.  These are the thoughts that went through my mind until that point. Now I am trying to be present, keeping in mind that I am the only person responsible for my happiness. Choosing to be happy and to live in the moment, I can enjoy life so much more than before when I was always looking towards the next milestone.

What do you do to de-stress after or during a long, stressful day?

After I'm done work I usually have a long bike ride waiting for me. I channel the big feelings left over from the day into energy for the ride, accompanied by fast punk or metal music to get my blood pumping. When I get home I sometimes listen to more mellow music and sit in the dark with candles or Christmas lights. I also talk to my friends and family. Chances are they have had a stressful day too and we can help each other feel more grounded. And of course I will draw in my sketchbook. When I'm sketching I can slow down the anxious hamster wheels that are spinning nearly 24/7 in my head to focus on making something.

Where do you go for inspiration?

Music has always been a huge inspiration for my work. When I was 14 I once created a graphic novella with a story and characters all based off of Iron Maiden songs. My BFA thesis was a series of illustrations celebrating many of the American music icons that I have come to love. Whether you are tuned into Bone Thugs n' Harmony or Buddy Holly, music can transport you to another world, make you feel the joys and sorrows of someone you may have very little in common with day to day. Music can be a loud voice for the oppressed, it can be a silent confession. Music creates culture, and connects us all.

I am inspired a lot by my own life's experiences. Some ideas for my comics come from taking difficult feelings I have around navigating the world as a trans masculine non-binary person- and putting in in a light hearted humorous view. These are troubling times for folks who do not identify with their assigned birth gender, with laws being passed to keep us out of bathrooms, and not enough legislature available to protect people's rights to safe housing and employment. My comic Tranpire is an account of a gender nonconforming creature of the night. This vamp is full of spunk and keeps their head & their limp wrist up high, despite being a pariah from the living world, including the LGBT community. Luckily for me I have plenty of people in life that keep me from feeling like a lost soul, I hope my comic can bring a smile to the face of a gender rebel who feels broken down by society. If we can laugh, we can heal.

What are you currently reading or listening to (podcasts, books, blogs, etc.)?

I recently discovered a podcast called Season of the Witch on YouTube and it has a lot of great talk for people interested in spiritual magic practice. To me, magic is the willful manipulation of the energy around you- whatever energy you put into the universe you are bound to get back. This is very important in my pursuit of happiness- I am conscious to avoid negative energy being projected onto my future. If you believe you can't win, then you have already lost.

What is one piece of advice you'd give to someone just starting their happy hustle journey?

Sometimes the best opportunities are not going to be served to you on a silver platter. One summer I was tasked with finding an internship position. I applied to many of the big names in the industry, my heart was set on landing a spot with a leading toy company. I was met with rejection from every place I applied, until I opened my mind. I searched for small non profit organizations that were in need of a graphic designer. I got accepted not once, but twice. So I carried out two internships as the sole designer on the staff, and learned alot more of my skills and problem solving than I might have otherwise. I made closer relationships, and was more valued on the team as the only person able to get the job done. One position I held even lead to a job that I currently work today.

Don't be afraid to ride your unicycle down the side avenue to success, rather than waiting on the highway breathing in exhaust from all the other SUV's in front of you.

What are some of your favorite quotes or words to live by?

This quote comes from a woman that I met once while waiting outside of a train station. She was complimenting me on my bright pink hair at the time, saying she was excited to turn her grey hair purple as her first dye job at 74. Why was she suddenly confident to make such a bold style choice?

She told me this: "One thing I have learned in my life is that most people only truly care about themselves. They are too busy worrying about their own lives to be truly concerned with what you are doing or how you look. So you should just do what you like. Live like nobody is watching- do whatever you can to be happy and free, because they aren't watching, and they don't care."

In one word, sum up your life as a Happy Hustler.

D.I.Y.

What are the three core values of your hustle and how do those values relate to your happiness?

My three core values have to be positivity, faith, and hunger.

Finding a space for positive energy in my hustle has taken me far. People recognize me as a good energy to have around, which has opened the way to many opportunities. If you are dredged with negativity, you are bringing everyone else down around with you. It's an unattractive quality and prevents you from having some appreciation for life- even when life is sad. I would be lying if I said I felt happy all the time. Its normal to be sad. Its not a bad thing. A sad time in life can still be enjoyed with some positive vibrations.

Next is faith, and no I don't mean George Michael with a choir of angels. I am not sure what my next career move will be, I might return to a position as a substitute teacher, I may be auditioning for a theatrical production for the first time in 4 years. I might make a book that is a total failure, I could spend a long time hustling before I reach the place of security I am seeking. What keeps me going is my faith in the universal powers that be- whatever road I travel, I will be provided for. The next chapter might result in a lot of money, or I could learn a completely new skill. I might even live on another continent for a few months, just to see what is out there for me. Wisdom is the ability to release control, release yourself from the idea of a prescribed route to happiness and success. I have faith that whatever choices I make for my future, the journey will be all the more colorful for it.

And lastly I am and will forever be stricken with hunger. Hunger for change, hunger for growth, hunger that I use to propel me over seemingly impossible obstacles. Someone once told me that they believed musicians create worse music as soon as they have achieved a stature of fame and fortune. If you have nothing else to work towards, then your intentions become less sincere. This is why I stay hungry. To appreciate all that I have worked hard to gain, and to keep my focus on all there is left for me to conquer. I will never settle for satisfaction, I starve for excellence.

Happy Hustler Maria Sweeney

About:

Maria Sweeney is a Moldova-born, New Jersey based freelance illustrator. Recent graduate of Moore College of Art and Design, Maria Sweeney has worked extensively in digital, oils, and other traditional mediums which are showcased in her commission works and sketches. Aside from illustrating her current project, In A Rut Comics, recreational time is generally used in some sort of artistic outlet ranging from working on self-published zines to sketching a possible unhealthy amount of portraits.

Q&A:

Tell us a little bit about your hustle and your happiness journey.

I wasn’t always outwardly artistic growing up. I wasn’t a child that drew the moment she could hold a pencil or was entertained in arts and crafts class. But with the start of high school, so came drawing to occupy some of my class time. By junior year, I was teaching myself daily how to draw, using online resources, the library, and anything I could get my hands on to improve. Getting accepted into art school continued much of the discipline I was already applying, but with tenfold the amount of responsibility and workload. Art school is notoriously difficult and as a recent graduate, the need to hustle in order to progress in my field is just as much as it was when I was hustling to get into art school.

What do you do to de-stress after or during a long, stressful day?

Like most artists, and as ironic as it is, to de-stress myself I usually end up churning out a few sketches in my moleskine or painting a quick piece digitally. Sometimes I don’t need a break from art-making, just from the specific piece of art itself. Drawing something that isn’t for my comic project or for a commission can provide the energy I need to continue these projects. Reading, listening to music, snuggling with my bunny are also great alternatives for me to do if doodling isn’t cutting it!

Where do you go for inspiration?

I take a lot of inspiration from classical painters, particularly those from the Pre-Raphelite Brotherhood period. Some of my favorite painters come from this group: Waterhouse, Rossetti, Millias — the list goes on. Classical and Neo-Classical work will always be a source of inspiration for me.

Other sources of inspiration for me are alternative manga (such as Taiyo Matsumoto and Kyoko Okazaki) and indie comics (the Tamaki cousins, Glyn Dillion — to name a few.)

Often times, I am most inspired after reading work by some of my favorite creators.

What are you currently reading or listening to (podcasts, books, blogs, etc.)?

The last book I read was really great, it’s a comic called My Friend Dahmer by John “Derf" Backderf. It tells the story of the notorious serial killer, Jeffery Dahmer but from a very unique perspective. The creator of the comic actually grew up with Dahmer and the combination of thorough research and first-hand experiences interacting with him was really surreal to read about. The art is great and the storytelling feels much like the pacing of a movie — which is cool because it’s actually being made into one now!

As for blogs and anything else, I read MuddyColors blog regularly. The blog has rotating writers, all different artists and art directors in the illustration and fine arts field. Many of the artists that contribute are ones I look up to and it’s very insightful about how the business of illustration functions.

What is one piece of advice you'd give to someone just starting their happy hustle journey?

My advice is to establish if hustling is something you actually want to do for your career. While often fulfilling and inspiring, hustling isn’t always happy and by definition, it isn’t easy. I wish creating art, getting paid for illustrating, and having consistent commission work wasn’t always a hustle, but it makes me happy in the long run and a sense of accomplishment. Art functions as both an outlet and a source of income, but both are work and require quite a lot of hustling! I would advise others to find what makes them want to hustle and to keep in mind that hustling is hard, but can be very rewarding.

What are some of your favorite quotes or words to live by?

As cliché as it may be, the painter and teacher Bob Ross often says it best, “You do your best work if you do a job that makes you happy.” And while art isn’t always easy, it ultimately makes me happy and happy enough to want to continue to illustrate.

In one word, sum up your life as a Happy Hustler.

Create!

What are the three core values of your hustle and how do those values relate to your happiness?

Discipline is essential — without discipline, art wouldn’t be made. When I’m disciplined, I can see the rewards through work being done on time, or improvement in a particular area of drawing that I lack in. Another core value would be to remain opened to criticism. Like most, this isn’t always easy for me, but it’s imperative to anyone wanting to improve in anything they do. Thankfully, I am blessed with supportive friends, often artistic ones themselves, that are able to give me constructive input and help me improve. Learning to rest is a final core value that I think is important. I don’t always do it and it seems contradictory to being disciplined, but they actually work together. Just as important as it is to be focused in illustrating, it’s also important to be disciplined in being healthy, getting enough rest, learning to take breaks when you are drawing, and allowing yourself time to go out of the studio and enjoy time with others. Often times, experiences outside of my work end up being reflected in it.

Connect with Maria:

Website // Facebook // Instagram // Tumblr 

First Friday Feature: Leah Koontz

This First Friday APOP Studios is celebrating the work of Philadelphia Artist, Leah Koontz. Her work directly relates to equality and the marginalized--demanding she and society as a whole are progressive and forward thinking through the critique of societal standards and beliefs. She has exhibited many places in Philadelphia among which include, New Boon(e), The Galleries at Moore, and The Water Gallery. She has also shown at the Ice Cube Gallery in Denver. She received the Sarah Peter fellowship from MCAD and has been published with Cleaver Magazine and The Philadelphia artblog.

Leah's Statement

"I make work about equality because I feel that this is my duty as a contemporary artist and engaged citizen. I am particularly interested in challenging American society's perception of marginalized groups. I also explore collaboration and growth. It is important for me to consider the tension and possible space for growth which happens among people as they attempt to communicate. I routinely think about my position, with respect to balance and control, as well as society’s relationship to these ideas. I want my art to contribute to learning and conversation, which hopefully spawns from my viewer’s experience. My work deals with themes of excess, conformity, and deterioration. Material is usually the byproduct of an idea. I enjoy working with a range of mixed media and genres to build a vessel for my thoughts as well as combining the grotesque with the seductive."

https://youtu.be/fV5TsL4uCnk

APOP Studios Feature: Lucy Smith

Name: Lucy Smith Age: 26

Original Goal: Getting rid of her Imposter Syndrome. Lucy describes it as that feeling when you are applying for a job and think to yourself, “Oh that has a few things I might like, but I can’t do all of it so I shouldn’t apply for it.” The constant feeling of someone else being more qualified than ourselves.

Today’s Goal: To get rid of Imposter Syndrome all together.

Advice: “You are never alone. You are going to find support no matter what, but support really starts within yourself.”

Story:

As human beings, the way that we are raised says a lot about the problems and insecurities that many of us face as adults. For Lucy, growing up as the daughter of a very southern conservative father, and a liberal mother was a constant challenge. As a self-proclaimed hardcore liberal, Lucy and her father clashed heads a lot growing up. However, this tug and pull relationship with her father is what she credits a large part of her finding such self assurance and confidence in her young adult life.

One of the biggest hurdles that Lucy faces day to day is her body. With a smaller, more petite frame but not falling into the “slender” category, she has faced a lot of negative backlash for her silhouette and body type.

“People are like, ‘oh you’re fat’ because I’m not slender. People automatically think it’s a bad thing-- but I mean, being fat is an adjective. To me, it’s just a descriptor.”

One of the ways that Lucy has come to accept her body image was through a stint of time that she spent burlesque dancing. Being able to go up on stage and improv was something that really helped to build Lucy’s self confidence. People really supported her burlesque dancing, and one of the more defining highlights of her time spent dancing culminated after one of her performances. “A woman came up to me and said, ‘ I didn’t know people like you could be sexy. You showed me that.’ It was great, it was wonderful.”

Using social media as a platform to discuss fat positivity and Imposter Syndrome has also been very cathartic for Lucy on her journey to loving herself. Lucy uses her social media pages to help bring awareness and draw community together around those dealing with their journeys to self love and worthiness. The internet is a massive tangle of people, so finding others that are in need of support and hope is not something that is hard to find. Although it’s certainly a cathartic experience for Lucy, to be able to help others on their journey to beating their own versions of Imposter Syndrome.

“In my opinion, it’s more important to be proactive and stand up for yourself and say the unpopular things, because somewhere along the line someone else agrees with you.”

One of the defining moments in Lucy’s journey came several years ago when a family member slipped her an informational pamphlet about Cryosurgery. Cryosurgery: surgery using the local application of intense cold to destroy unwanted tissue. In most instances the unwanted tissue are localized fat cells.

Lucy was having trouble fitting into the clothes that she wanted to, and her silhouette was not what she wanted it to be. Working hard in the gym was having no results on the lover stomach bulge that she wanted to eliminate. When in theatre school, a professor encouraged her to get into good cardiac shape to be able to make it through a two and a half hour show. Even after doing forty-five minutes on an elliptical every day, she was seeing results everywhere on her body BUT her lower stomach.

After doing all of her research on Cryosurgery/Coolsculpting she decided to go and do the surgery. Lucy describes the process like having your skin sucked into a high intensity vacuum. After her treatment, Lucy had bruises where the coolsculpting had been performed.

“I wanted to improve my silhouette because I knew that this was stubborn fat. Because of my circumstances, I was eligible for this treatment because when they touched my stomach...when they grabbed it...they said that it was really soft so the treatment would work.”

The surgery was a real turning point in helping to motivate Lucy to begin to exercise more. Before she underwent the coolsculpting Lucy had been having no success with working out to help achieve the look she wanted. With the fat cells removed, she was starting to see tangible success with working out.

“It’s worth saying that I loved and will continue to love my body no matter what my stomach looks like- but I got my silhouette changed because of my own preference. It is not anyone's prerogative to judge anyone else's body based on their own individual preferences...My shape is more appropriate for my body now. I don’t feel like anything is out of shape, or place. That’s what motivates me to get out and exercise.”

Lucy has learned a lot through her journey, but one of the best things she has gleaned from her ups and downs has been just how important being more assertive is for her well-being.

“Getting rid of that little voice in the back of my head telling me that nobody wants to hear what I have to say. Being more positive and extending that generosity to others. If negativity can’t be influenced by positivity, it might be best leave that conversation or that person behind.”

Now Lucy is exercising two days per week in addition to light walking around the city of Philadelphia. She has achieved her own personal preferred silhouette and has changed her outlook on life to reflect a mindset of happiness. In addition to her physical and mental health achievements, Lucy is also on her way to academic and entrepreneurial success. Lucy is a graduating senior illustration student at Moore College of Art & Design, running her illustration business Lucy Smith Illustrations, and a weekend business venture “Snow Princess Parties.”

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Q&A:

Can you explain more about Cryosurgery?

I guess the technical term is coolsculpting, because it freezes the fat cells. When it freezes them, it kills them. The fat cells don’t grow back unless you really go all out with your diet/lifestyle, but for the most part they never come back. On average it takes about one hour per section for treatment. They cover your skin in a gel, so that the sucking of the vacuum doesn’t really hurt.

How do you stay active?

I love walking all around the city. When I come back at night, I’m like “that was really fun AND I walked all around the city AND I got to pet dogs in Rittenhouse Park.” I can do all of those things now while exercising.

How did this surgery change the way you look and relate to your body?

It has really motivated me to exercise. Before, my body would look the same after three months of real exercise and I would just feel like, “What’s the point?” I feel more free. I can walk around and not feel self-conscious about my lower stomach. I can walk around with so much more confidence.

When you find yourself in a negative mindset how do you get out of that?

Start thinking of all the things that I am grateful for. My family had a house fire last year, and we are still hanging in there and plugging forward.  People ask me, “How can you be so confident?” I say it’s because I love myself, and a lot of people don’t. What are a few things you’re grateful for?

My health, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I’ve lost four pounds. My family. My dog Ruby, she’s my daughter.

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This feature was sponsored by APOP Studios’ Creative Stress Management Workshops. Schedule your group stress management workshop today! Great for work and school events. Email info@apopstudios.com or find more information at http://www.apopstudios.com/movingmindfully.

#APOPFNF Profile: Max Kohls

Name: Max Kohls

Age: 24 years old

Subject: Weight Loss & Mental Health

Original Goal:  Lose 105 lbs; reach goal weight of 165lb.

Today's Goals:

• Reevaluate whether my original goal matters considering the following
• Gain strength and muscle (and therefore weight)
• Continue to choose happiness and health on a daily basis

Advice: You can’t change what you are, but you can change who you are. It’s up to you to choose the person you want to be everyday and remember to choose who you are wisely.

Story: Max is a 24 year old gender-non-conforming Graphic Designer and the newest member of APOP's Fitness Nerd Family. They started their journey back in the summer of 2013 after graduating from Moore College of Art & Design with a  Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in--you guessed it--Graphic Design. Growing up and going to school in PA, Max decided it wasn't exactly the place they wanted to launch their career. California was where they headed, Los Angeles, where dreams are made.  With a background in Graphic Design, Max was well primed for a job in the television industry, but the dreams they ended up accomplishing in California were different than the plans they had previously set for themselves. Alone and without a job due to the relocation; Max saw Los Angeles as a great opportunity to do some soul-searching--to really figure out who they were as a person and challenge themself, but before we jump into how Max improved their life let me provide you with a little more background.

Upon graduation, Max was 270 lbs and unhappy. College was difficult. Like most of us during college, they got caught up in a little thing called stress. Being an art and design student had proven to be more challenging than anticipated. With six hour classes and a ton of all-nighters doing homework and class projects, it was hard to find time to eat, let alone make a healthy meal from scratch. Don't get them wrong, college wasn't the reason they had become unhealthy and depressed; the stresses of college simply added to their unhappiness.

"I wouldn't say that I have depression, I would say that I was depressed. I was just unhappy and uncomfortable constantly and that's why I was depressed, but now I feel better--I don't feel depressed anymore." - Max Kohls

Before the stresses of college, Max encountered other hurdles-- growing up with learning differences, body image issues, and trying to find their place in the LGBT community. Max’s mother always loved, supported, and cared for them, but it was very difficult for her to see her child as 'bigger' and unhappy.  Max's mother was always working hard to stay healthy and fit and wanted Max to try new workouts or diets with her. Even though most might see this as supportive, Max felt pressured to be thin which weakened their relationship.

Max wanted to have control over their life--including their body. Max reflects on their thoughts of that time in our interview, "Two boxes of Oreos a week... whatever not a big deal! Who’s telling me what to do? It's my own body!...but now I'm more in control of my body. I go to the gym and make myself eat healthy." They say, "no one can force you to do anything unless your heart is truly in it." Before moving to California, Max always found themself feeling ashamed of eating certain foods and therefore hiding those habits from friends and family. "[My mother] always wanted to encourage me to lose weight and I was always the one who wanted to take back control, so I would eat by myself; I would hide and eat." Max would think to themself, "I'm not going to lose weight for you, I'm going to do what I want." Now, Max understands that for their mother it was difficult to see her child struggling and as it turns out all their mother wanted was for Max to be happy; it turns out their mom was their biggest fan.

"It's hard to feel like people expect things from you and that you might disappoint them...but it really isn't affecting them except for that it makes them happier for you." -Max Kohls

Moving to California was the perfect way for Max to separate themself from the family and friends "Let Down Factor”, their own bad habits, and their negative emotions. Los Angeles is such an encouraging place to begin a mental and physical health journey. The weather is nice, all the fruit is fresh, and the people--well they're beautiful. They never had to worry about their family seeing them workout. They didn’t have to worry that their loved ones would "get their hopes up" just to be disappointed once again. The pressure was lesser in California--if Max failed no would have to know, but if they succeeded they could share their success and feel proud that this time it was their choice...to be happy, to be healthy, to be successful.

Making the choice everyday to work towards being healthy has allowed Max to become more connected with their body. Reflecting on this Max says, "I used to pull a blanket up to my head and I used to think, ‘I wish we were all just heads, I wish we didn't have to deal with our bodies’...and I told my therapist that and she said, 'it's clear that you're not connected with the rest of your body.' Once I started exercising and really getting in touch with my body, I began to feel more confident and empowered."

And even after moving back to the east coast they’ve continued to choose to be their “higher-self” on a daily basis--with the full support of their family and girlfriend. Max knew they had finally reached a point where they didn’t have to be ashamed of what they ate in front of their mother. “When I came back from LA after 5 months 35lbs thinner my mom saw that I could take care of myself.”  It was at this point they both knew that Max was in control of their health and would continue to be.

For the last two years, back in Philadelphia, Max continues to be in control. They go to the gym five days a week, two days of which are spent with a personal trainer. When asked more about their fitness goals in relation to having a personal trainer, Max states, "I'm not just trying to lose weight anymore, I'm trying to gain muscle and heighten my testosterone levels naturally." As an non-binary individual Max is trying to find a comfortable balance between masculine and feminine. With this in mind, Max’s trainer has developed a exercise regime for Max to continue to achieve an androgynous appearance. “Its an amazing feeling to look in the mirror and be pround and happy with my reflection.”

Want to know more about Max? Continue reading the Q&A portion of the profile below.

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Additional Q&A:

C: Many people have had a similar parent/child relationship as you and your mother. With this in mind, what would your advice be to parents who want their child(ren) to begin living a healthier lifestyle?

M: I honestly think therapy would be the best choice. I think therapy has a really bad stigma. You don’t have to be clinically depressed or suicidal to talk to a therapist. As someone who was just unhappy, talking to a third-party who wants to support you is wonderful. Her training has been more than helpful with not only weight loss but my relationship with my mother. I have been seeing my therapist for three years and even while I was in California for five months. I called her once a week and we would talk for an hour. It's so freeing to have her in my life. It's too difficult to talk to a parent that's just too close to the situation. I was always encouraged by my mother to make health a priority, but it wasn’t enough. Having a therapist for an objective opinion or point of view, has been extremely helpful in achieving my goal of being the best I can be.

C: You talk a lot about continually choosing your higher-self ; can you elaborate on that?

M: "Willpower is so important in weight loss--willpower and dedication. You have to get up every morning and say, 'This is who I'm going to be today.’ You have to be your higher-self. There is an opportunity to be your lower self: not go to the gym, eat poorly, etc., but you have to choose to be your higher-self. It's a choice. It's all choices. Everyday is a choice." Max later referenced the podcast that they had listened to previously that informed this conversation: http://www.stuffyoushouldknow.com/podcasts/willpower-works/

C: How do you feel about Jennifer Aditison's quote "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."?

M: That's so not true. First of all, I had had like nine s'mores the other week and all I could think is I'm going to have to workout really hard next week, but then I thought, 'no'...like how often do I really have s'mores...they are so worth it. Second of all, it's not about being skinny, it's about being healthy and your livelihood. It's about feeling good about yourself.

C: How do you manage the stresses of life and remain healthy?

M: "By being selfish sometimes...I always use the word ‘selfish’, but...it's not selfish if it's for your own well-being." I make the choice over and over again to be healthy. I remain healthy because I choose to and because I have a support network that helps me make that choice daily.

C: What does one of your typical workouts look like?

M: 45-60 minutes of cardio. If I’m on the treadmill, I start off running for as long as I can, usually 30 minutes, then I walk--sometimes on an incline. If I’m on the StairMaster, I usually just do 45 minutes while I watch TV shows like F.R.I.E.N.D.S. After that I do back, triceps, and biceps then head over to the free weights and do 20 hammer curls, 20 squats, you know, different exercises.* I love cables and free weights…I feel bad ass not using the weight machines. When I work out with my trainer Ralph Gilmore at Body Dynamics, I do more challenging exercises. He pushes me to try new things like weighted squats and leg lifts. He loves to remind me, “If you weren’t working out with me you wouldn’t be lifting this heavy,” and it’s true!  He shows how much weight to lift, corrects my form, and reminds me to breath. I am so thankful to have someone so knowledgeable helping me reach my goals.   

*Recommended Resource: Bodybuilding.com's exercise database--it's an exciting and interactive online encyclopedia of exercise how to's and how not to's.